


Twists & Turns

by thebasement_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drama, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-02-05
Updated: 2006-02-05
Packaged: 2018-11-20 10:12:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 25,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11333694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebasement_archivist/pseuds/thebasement_archivist
Summary: Doubts arise, fears return and Mulder goes on a quest.





	Twists & Turns

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Basement](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Basement), which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Basement's collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thebasement/profile).

Twists & Turns

## Twists & Turns

### by Lashala

##### [Story Headers]

  


Title: Twists & Turns (Sequel to Present Conditions in the 'What's In A Dream' series) 

Author: Lashala 

Rating: NC-17. Probably not that bad but let's not take chances! 

Keywords: M/K, Slash, Angst, Romance 

Disclaimer: I don't own them but I wish I did. If you don't know what slash is or you're under age, go home! 

Summary: AU. Present time. A brief interlude. Doubts arise, fears return and Mulder goes on a quest. If you haven't read 'What's In A Dream?', 'Reality Beckons' and 'Present Conditions', do that first. 

Spoilers: None. Just a few random references here and there on the boys' past encounters. 

Archive: Sure...but ask first! I've heard some stuff and I don't like being mistreated so I'm going to check on things. 

Feedback: Thanks for all your support and enthusiasm over my series. Here's hoping this also meets your expectations. If you enjoy, I've got some more out there so feed me! . 

* * *

Location Unknown  
Alexandria, VA  
Saturday, mid-morning 

Mulder woke slowly as usual. That most of the pre-dawn and early morning hours had been spent with him in mindless ecstasy more incentive for lethargy now. 

Memories sweet and sexy filled his thoughts, made his lips turn up in a saucy smile. Stretching, he reached out across the bed, fingers seeking that which they now knew intimately. Found nothing but cold, empty sheets. Hazel eyes snapped open wide. 

"Alex? Baby? You in the bathroom?" 

Silence. 

Rolling over, he checked the floor on Alex's side. Empty. The scattered clothes were gone. 

//Oh, god. Oh god, no. _Please!_ // 

Mulder was up and dressing like a madman. He raced out of the bedroom and found Scully dressed, working over eggs on the stove. He braked hard panting, "Where's Alex?!" 

Scully turned confused, moving the skillet off to the side. "In the bedroom with _you_. Why...?" 

"Scully, he's gone! His clothes are gone! Did you see...?" 

She moved into the living room, her partner at her back. "No Mulder, I didn't! I only woke up about fifteen minutes ago. You two kept me up most of..." Her blue eyes widened focused on the floor. There lay the tracking device, the casing broken and several cut wires protruding from its disemboweled shape. She glanced up at the front door. 

Mulder followed the gaze, found it cracked slightly and moaned. "Oh, god... Nooooo..." When he moved for it, she shouted at his back. 

"Mulder, wait! Put some shoes on! And find a coat! It's only thirty-two degrees out there!" 

He spun around and rushed back into the bedroom, emerging a few minutes later shod in a pair of Krycek's tennis shoes, arm fighting its way into a surplus army jacket. Scully had never been so grateful both men wore the same size as right now. While he struggled with a button, she made her way to the sofa. 

"Here!" 

She reached under the pillow and pulled out another PDA-like device. Turning it on, she sighed as a steady beep filled the air. "Thank god! We've got a 'lock'." She tossed it to Mulder smiling. "I brought another tracker. I _thought_ he might run, knowing how rattled he's been. I slipped into the bedroom while you were sleeping and put another tag into his shirt hem." She made no reference that it has been the second check. 

Mulder's eyes went huge for two reasons. He'd woken up _above_ the covers. Oh well, no real surprise to Scully at all. "You... You _tagged_ him?! _Him?!_ You _knew_ he'd run?! How?!" 

She shook her head. "I didn't but he's a criminal, of a sort, in love with a _federal agent_. That's enough to send him off to think. By the way, did you tell him? About _that_ night?" 

When Mulder shook his head she frowned. "Then you need to. He needs to know, Mulder. It's the only thing left to resolve. Now, go get him, tell him what happened and bring his ass back. I think I need to have another 'talk' with him." 

Mulder gripped the tracker, eyes filling as he let out a soft, choked admission. "I _love you_ , Scully." 

Blue eyes brightened even though they knew the love was on a different level. "I love you, too. Now...find him and bring him back! Call me when you do. _Go!_ " 

Mulder was gone in a flash. 

Scully walked to the front door, stared out as Mulder all but vaulted into the car seat; watched the rear wheels spin up rubber as the car wheeled from the driveway, raced up the street. Closing it slowly she stared around the room. "God help him. _Both_ of them." 

Suddenly she lifted her head, eyes filling with resolve. There was no other choice. Sighing, hoping Mulder would understand, she moved to the chair and her coat. Pulling out her phone, she dialed carefully; nodded as a deep, clear voice floated out from the earpiece. 

"Protection Division. Finch speaking." 

"Adam, this is Dana Scully." She glanced around shaking her head. "We have a small _problem_." 

* * *

An abandoned warehouse alley  
Washington, DC outskirts  
Saturday, late afternoon 

Mulder stared into the alley with a shudder. 'Why here, Alex?' he thought. 

For hours he'd followed the beep; getting closer, watching it move away, vanish briefly, return weaker, flicker then grow stronger. Weaving all over D.C. and the adjoining Virginia suburbs, he knew Alex was moving around and inside places that blocked or interfered with such transmissions. Finally it was now on a steady track but Mulder didn't like where it was indicating - Alex had moved into a seedier and less police patrolled side of town. An area that the cops preferably ignored entering unless absolutely necessary. 

He was sure the device had erred. Twice he'd come close to slamming it against the dash, fought the urge fearing loosing the signal completely. Now as he turned off the engine, eased from behind the wheel, he wondered if Alex had figured it out, tossed the shirt away and fled. 

Closing the door, he walked slowly towards the warehouse alley entrance glancing around. It would get dark soon, still several weeks from Daylight Savings and he wished it wasn't. This wasn't the best place to be even in broad daylight. 

He glanced at the device, the beeping confirming his target _was_ indeed in the alley or slightly above it. Sighing, he hunched over and shuffled slowly; put on the air of one with little to bother with, felt grateful he didn't look too 'well to do' right then and moved into the alley. 

At the end he found a door. Pushing it, he was surprised it popped open easily; more it led into an actual warehouse. The beeping confirmed Alex was above him. He walked carefully, stepping over scattered papers, around broken bottles, boxes and other debris. His nose wrinkled on its own at the stench of urine in the stale, dusty air and other smells he'd rather not catalog. 

He jumped at a squeak and found himself staring down a rat. A rather _large_ rat. The beady eyes locked on his, held an air of defiance and challenge in the black gaze. For a moment they looked at each other then the rat, perhaps wisely, gave in on the side of safety. With a slight hiss of warning it scuttled off. Breathing out slowly Mulder began moving again. 

He glanced up at the high windows, many broken to time, the ravages of weather and perhaps the errant ways of youths with too much time on their hands. The sun was lowering in the sky, the beams of light already casting shadows. He swore softly realizing he had no flashlight. Not even a lighter. 

//Great. Just great! Wonder if the rat would be kind enough to show me the way back out?// Mumbling in disgust he kept walking. He noticed steps in a far corner and moved towards them, automatically stepping over an unconscious wino without thought; his needs on a far more urgent matter. 

He reached the stair top - the remnants of what must have been office space overlooking the warehouse floor - the tracking device's beeping now a continuous drone and aimed at the last door on the left. Turning it off, he moved down the hall to a wooden rectangle barely on its hinges and ajar. He eased it open further, peeked in carefully wishing he'd at least pulled his gun from the car. Without lighting the room was naturally dark and shadowed. Not good at all. He should have been better prepared; would have any other time. The fact that _he_ was now acting like the 'wet behind the ears' junior agent he once believed Alex to be was unnerving. 

How ironic would it be if _that_ lack of preparedness was the trick that _finally_ got him killed? 

" _Alex?_ Are _you_ in here?" 

A small dot of red lit the corner of the room near a broken window. Mulder watched it glow brighter, widen as the cigarette was inhaled by the shadow then a thick cloud of smoke eased out followed by a slow exhale more defeated sigh than breath. 

"Right here, Mulder." 

Mulder slid the tracker into the jacket pocket, carefully closed the door behind him and kept his hands in front this time. "Alex, what are you _doing_ here?" 

"Smoking." 

Cryptic mode again. Okay, he'd go with it for now and nodded. "Yeah, I see. I thought you'd quit." 

Another glow and slow exhale followed. "Found a reason to start again." 

Mulder sighed. "Ah. Well...um, I remember you telling me in a dream you'd quit because you knew it wasn't good for you." 

Another exhale, another cloud rose up. " _A lot_ of things aren't good for me. At least _this_ is one I can control." 

Not a good sound. Mulder proposed better words. "Alex...we _need_ to talk." 

Another bright glow, another cloud followed. "Think we've talked enough as it is. Go home, Mulder." 

Mulder shook his head in disgust. "No way and we haven't talked at all. Not about what we need to." 

Another exhale, "And what is there left to _talk_ about?" 

"You. Me. Our future. _Together._ " 

Mulder watched the shadow move, saw the cigarette glow fall to the floor, disappear under a thicker shadow then a light flickered in the air. He blinked as the match moved to a candle on a beat up plastic lawn table, lit it, the soft light illuminating a face he was silently happy to see. 

Krycek was dressed in the ragged shirt of earlier and now had a faded brown sweater pulled over it. He blew out the match, lowered it onto a dish under the candle and turned to face his lover, green eyes tight and dead serious. "There _is_ no you, me _or_ a future. For either of us. Together or otherwise. Now... _go home!_ " 

"You changed your mind? Walking away?" 

"Beats the hell outta getting _thrown_ out!" The air went thick for a moment then Krycek nodded. "So yes, I am. Not because I want to but because I _need_ to. For you. To keep you safe." 

" _That_ is _so much_ bullshit!" 

Krycek frowned. "Just because _you_ seem willing to risk your safety doesn't mean others are as demented. Now _go home!_ " 

Mulder was disgusted as he spat at him. "Coward! You're a fucking _coward!_ " 

Krycek didn't take the bait; instead he bowed his head with a sigh. "If it involves _your_ safety, yes. Now more than ever before. So yes, I've got a big yellow streak the whole of my back. Happy?" 

"Hell no! I'd be _happy_ if you just left with me. This place gives me the creeps." 

" _Now_ who's lying?" 

"I didn't say you were lying, Alex, I only said you were a coward. Chickening out and leaving me alone." 

"Scully was there." 

Mulder hissed. "Just stop it! Right now! Stop trying to make this into another sparing match. I'm not interested. I want you to come out of here and go back with me. Scully's probably worried sick by now." 

"Oh, come on. _Really._ " 

Mulder heard the sarcasm and snarled back. " _Don't_ do that! Not to _Scully!_ She didn't do what she did for a lark. She did it because she cares. I _never_ asked her to talk to you the way she did. I only asked her to keep you from sneaking off. _You're_ in trouble for _that!_

For a moment, Krycek's expression looked surprised. For a moment. Then it leveled out. "How's your hand?" 

Mulder leaned against the doorframe and sighed. "Do you even _care?_ " 

Krycek narrowed his eyes and huffed. "Of course I do! I wouldn't have _asked_ if I didn't!" 

"What would you do if I said it's broken?" 

The younger man took a step forward, the eyes growing concerned. " _Damn_ Mulder, I _knew_..." 

"It's not but it _could_ have been. So...you _do_ care." 

Krycek froze, growled then turned away. Mulder didn't let him get off that easy. "You care about me, Alex. Just admit it, you love me. Please, just _say it_. On your own. There's no pressure here this time. No Scully staring you down, no me with open arms to intimidate you, push at you and no hint of sex offered." He glanced around at their surroundings. "Well, definitely not _here_. So just say it. Or if not that, what you _really_ feel. I need to know, Alex. I need to know what's going on. You said you'd tell me the truth. So tell me! Tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but." 

Krycek turned back. "And you'll _believe_ me? _Really_ believe me? All of it?" 

"Yes." 

Krycek nodded. "Okay...you're right. I _am_ a coward. Where it concerns you. I'm worried about you. Worried _for you_. You're still in danger; more if I'm near you. I'm a wanted man, Mulder. The Consortium's not filled with idiots, these men are smart. _Too_ smart. They've put two and two together by now and know it equals me! They know I've been hunting them; hunting the smoking slime. I attacked him once already. Even if it _wasn't_ me they'd go after me on 'GP'. They want me down. Out. If the bullet hits me it _could_ go through to you. If we're together. I'm a risk and you _really_ don't need to be here now!" 

"Alex, why don't you let _me_ worry about my safety?" 

Krycek chuckled softly, folded his arms as he leaned a hip onto the table shaking his head. "I have. Plenty of times and look where it got you. Nearly buried in rubble, abducted, nearly killed, shot more than a few times, infected with the Black Oil, and who knows _what else_ you can't remember, either. Don't you see? You don't know _when_ to quit. You won't back off. Never! Oh, you'll slow down some but not for long. You're either too stubborn or fucking crazy to do it, even with this and you _know_ this isn't right no matter what. As much as we both may want to be together, we can't and shouldn't. What you want is impossible." 

So, Alex _did_ want him; said as much but he was still ready to bail. Mulder tipped his head and stared back. "Looking at that arm of yours, knowing it's real... What's impossible _anymore_ , Alex?" 

Krycek's eyes tightened, determined to make Mulder see reason. "What _you_ want is _impossible!_

Mulder eased up from the door, walked across the room and settled against the table by his lover's side. "I wanted to make love to you. Got to do it too. Things aren't _that_ problematic, Alex. Not any more." 

Krycek had the decency to blush, smiled slightly. "It was a wild moment, Mulder, a lapse in good judgment. On both our counts. It can't happen again." 

Mulder considered that; the reasons behind it and knew more. Alex had been raped; repeatedly and the fear, the mental wariness, remained. He'd already experienced his lover's terror through the mutual dream states they'd shared; seen the reality of it in their first embraces together. 

Determined to make his new lover believe him, trust him, he'd taken the lead; made love to Alex several times. Denied him the chance to reciprocate, needing to make him see the truth. Each attempt had been a small battle to relax the man, ease his panic. Alex could play off the fear, ignore or gloss over his reactions before or after but the truth was clear - the actual moment of contact terrified him. 

Considering what _he'd_ experienced through a dream alone, Mulder understood that terror all too well. 

His thoughts shifted through the dreams - saw Alex using his sexuality to glean info; turn an enemy into an ally, however briefly. Then _he'd_ always been in control; even using Marita Covarrubias for his own benefit. Never allowing _himself_ to be used the same way until he'd had no choice. Until he'd been punished for his failure to kill Scully. Until he'd finally been _forced_ to submit. 

'A lot of things aren't good for me. At least _this_ is one I can control.' 

Suddenly it clicked, it all clicked! 

Control. For Alex, his very life meant control. His! Everything he'd done, planned, was all in his control until he, Mulder, had gotten in the way. And every time Alex paid severely for it. Now this. 

Images from the dreams returned again, being Alex; the arrogance, cockiness, the flippant attitude in the face of danger. It was the man's way of keeping control. What little _he_ could as well. Anything else lead to madness. He remembered his life as Alex; the smallest movement, thought, even instinctual reaction, was still measured. Controlled. Alex had only lost that three times that Mulder really knew of - in Hong Kong when the oilen took control; in Russia, to a group of peasants assured they were saving his life and the other... 

//There it is, Fox. The _real_ problem. The other thing he couldn't control and the only thing keeping him from falling into your arms now. It's not _your_ safety he's really scared for.// 

For all his bravado, sex terrified Alex if _he_ wasn't in control. Submitting meant loosing control. He'd had none when he was raped; had even less _whenever_ the smoking bastard was concerned. Alex wanted his love; feared it too. He had good reason to be scared despite how desperately he wanted it. Their past was still, sadly, too present. It was definitely one of the things they would have to talk about and one that would take a _great deal_ of discussion. For now Mulder tried to put a little pressure elsewhere. 

"So...you didn't enjoy it? This morning when I...made love to you? I was _that_ bad, huh?" 

Krycek stared down at the floor then looked up and sighed. "God Mulder, no. _Never_. No, you were _wonderful_. _It_ was wonderful. That's why it can't happen again. _Let it go._ Please. Forget about me. You'll be safer that way." 

Mulder wasn't going for any of it and made it clear. "No thanks. I'm fine just the way I am right now. Just the way things are going to be from now on. With you by my side. I've tasted you, Alex. I _can't_ give you up. I'm addicted to you. I know what'll happen if I can't have you, say once or twice a day. I'll be restless, won't eat or sleep well; in other words, a mess. And far worse than I normally am. Now you don't want to be responsible for my decline in health, _do you?_ " 

When Krycek remained silent he smiled a bit. "And...if it was so _wonderful_ , why wouldn't you want _more?_ " 

Krycek looked surprised, more when Mulder leaned in and pulled them closer. He watched his lover's hand slip through the fingers of his left one, jerked slightly at the sensation as they were gently embraced. "You can try to push me away, make me mad, drive me crazy but _nothing_ will change what I feel _now_. _I love you._ Alex, I _need_ you with me." 

"Nooooo, what you _need_ is for me to be _away_ from you. _Well_ away from you." 

"So... _that's_ how it's going to be, huh? You run away and what happens to us?" 

Krycek pulled his hand and body free, moved forcing Mulder to ease back. He walked off a few paces, turned, eyes hot and angry. "I'm _not_ running away, damn you! I'm going to draw them _to me_. That way while they'll hunting for me, you and Scully will be able to look for more answers. Find what we need." 

"And what happens if _they_ find _you?_ " 

"They won't." 

"Alex... _I_ found you." 

"Yeah," Krycek stared off for a moment then looked back. "I figured Scully put a backup on the car or worse, me. Didn't have the time to hunt for it. So where did she put it?" 

"I..." Mulder looked caught. "I have no idea..." 

"Damnit, where?!" 

"Alex, she did it..." 

" _Where?!_ " 

"In the hem of your shirt," Mulder sighed in defeat. 

He watched Krycek jerk the sweater open, fumble with the torn shirt hem until he looked up frowning. "Damn...she's _good_. I'd never have looked for it there in the fold of the stitching; didn't even feel it. She's in the wrong business, Mulder. Really. Now thanks to her meddling, you know about _this_ place too. That's _another_ safe place you've cost me in less than a day." 

The man was trying to avoid the issues and Mulder knew it. He shook his head hard. "Uh-uh, don't try it. I...we haven't done anything. You still have the house. Scully's still there, with a few other agents by now." 

Ignoring Krycek's horrified look he smiled. "Just to be sure that a home for someone in the 'witness protection program' is still clear. That's all they know. Scully won't tell them a name or anything. She isn't supposed to. She called me on the way; had this idea. In a few days, we're going to be relocating a federal witness that just happened to encounter a very old lover who can't _believe_ their supposedly dead ex isn't dead after all. It happens, Alex, despite all our precautions. We're sworn to assist. Scully will make sure your magazines, mail, anything with your name on it are hidden. She's already cleaned out the toilet tank and got your ah...pot. She'll...um, keep it for you. However, you _didn't_ hear that from _me_." 

At Krycek's surprised blink he rushed on. "The agents won't see a thing to give away your identity but _their_ presence will make them seen by someone else. If Cancerman knows where you are, even has a suspicion, he's going to get the message you've been completely compromised. He knows what to look for, Alex. He'll see it. You won't be of any interest to him from now on." 

"Right," Krycek sneered. "Because I'll be _dead!_ As soon as he finds me or one of his goons does, I'm good for a black suit measurement. I'm as good as targeted. The moment he's aware you've found me, he's going to think I'm singing my lungs out to you." 

Mulder's expression turned wicked. "Well, _I_ prefer you screaming but... _whatever_ rocks your boat." 

"You're a sick piece of shit, Mulder." 

"Yep, you _love_ it and my name's _Fox!_ " 

Krycek nodded sobering more. "I know, Fox. I'll remember it. Always, but you need to leave now. Leave me. Let it go." 

"And _you_ can kiss my ass! Any way you want. I'm not going anywhere _without_ you! 

"Fox, please. Listen to me..." 

Mulder waved him off with a curse. "No! Damn it, Alex, no! Now _you_ fucking listen to _me!_ " Krycek's mouth gaped as he kept at him. "I'm not leaving! If _you_ refuse to leave, I'll just stay right here _with_ you." He ignored the wince and unhappy look. "If you try to throw me out, we'll _both_ need Scully's medical services, because I'll probably get my ass kicked but _you'll_ get a bloody nose!" 

"That's the 'norm' for us, you know? No surprises there." 

"Damnit Alex, I'm _serious!_ " 

Krycek walked back to the table and settled down swinging his legs slowly. Now he gazed on the man with amusement. "You're a _trip_ , Fox. Really. You're willing to risk your life for _what?_ Good sex? _Decent sex?_ " 

Hazel eyes tightened on him. "You think _that's_ all that mattered? That _all_ I considered?" 

"No, but let's get the physical reasons hashed first. With you, the emotional takes a great deal of analyzing and I'm in a rush. I need to find another place to stay. One you're _not_ going to know about!" 

"Okay, fine!" Mulder moved quickly, eased between the swinging legs and pulled Krycek right over to the table's edge, leaning in to lick a nose tip. "How about _phenomenal_ sex? How about _mind-blowing_ sex? How about phenomenal, mind-blowing, 'left me so weak I didn't know you'd skipped out on me' sex?" 

As Krycek blushed deeply he nuzzled more, worked up a smile again. "Alex, it was _great_! That makes it _worth_ it. Definitely worth _you_." He rubbed his crotch against the man's jeans, watched the legs jerk to a stop and uttered a low purr. "If that's not enough and you _want_ to analyze my emotions, would the fact that I love you being mentioned _again_ help?" 

"Not enough in regards to your safety, no." 

"Then..." Mulder rocked his hips harder, gnawed his lip to keep from moaning at the swelling he felt and forced Krycek to acknowledge the sensations first. "Then you need to come back with me. You're a trained assassin and hired gun. Can't think of anyone _more_ qualified to protect me. Come back with me, Alex." 

Krycek shuddered under the physical attention, moaning. "Uhhhh...o-okay! Okay! I get the message. I'll go back...with you." His eyes focused, blazed brightly. "I guess someone's got to watch your ass." 

"And who better than the one it _belongs_ to?" 

Fingers reached up, ruffled though Mulder's hair and he turned into the caress. "You're crazy aren't you, Fox?" 

Mulder knew his lover was stalling; went with it knowing Alex needed some time, a few extra moments to fully commit himself. He also knew the man needed some additional incentive to get to that. "Crazy in _love_. With a mystery man." 

Krycek kept silent to that. 

"How's _your_ hand?" 

"What?" 

Mulder peeked up. "I asked how _your_ hand was. You cut it. You know, to show Scully it was you? Let me see it." 

Krycek shrugged. "No need. I _told_ Dana I was okay. It's fine." 

"Then let me see it." 

"Fox, there's no reason..." 

Mulder tightened his gaze. "Fair's fair, Alex. Let me see _your_ hand." 

Sighing heavily, Krycek held up his left hand. 

Just as Mulder expected, the gash had already healed. All that remained was a pink scar that would darken slightly in a few more hours. They did heal fast but scars still remained. Save Alex's arm. But _that_ wasn't 'normal' healing on an extreme level. Maybe Alex had accepted his altered state to himself but acknowledging it out loud still rattled him. They'd seen that. 

Mulder lowered the hand with a genuine smile on his lips. "I'm glad you're okay. Still, you _should_ get a tetanus shot. Just to be safe." 

_That_ was rich, coming from a man that hated hospitals as much as he did but Krycek didn't debate it. Instead, he shrugged again, resumed his caressing of Mulder's head. "That knife is cleaner than most people's kitchens, Fox. You know that. I keep _all_ my weapons clean. I cleaned the knife again just before I left." 

Of course he did. His life depended on those weapons working perfectly. Alex would have every one cleaned, oiled and working with military perfection. 

As Mulder watched, Krycek's eyes tightened on him slightly. "Just precisely _when_ did _your_ hand really stop hurting you?" 

Shit. Busted. Mulder flashed a helpless smile and gave up. "Actually about ten minutes after I slammed it in the door? The muscles were still sore for a while and bruised after that, then that was gone too. I...I'm sorry. I should have known better. I was playing for sympathy. I didn't know _what else_ to do to keep you close. At least you went along. 

" _Sure_ , I did. You seemed to be trying so hard, why not? However..." Krycek leaned in and Mulder automatically did as well. "The _next time_ you want my sympathy don't act injured. _Especially_ against _another_ altered being. And tell Scully to stop playing me as well!" 

Well... At least Alex had finally admitted it. Mulder's cheeks flushed. He elected to remain silent on this, leaned back and went to his better plan. "You didn't say what you thought of our idea?" 

Krycek combed carefully, savored the feel of Mulder's soft hair and wondered if for the last time. "Witness protection, huh? You mean hide me? For good?" 

Mulder nodded feeling a new hope rising. "Yes! Think about it! We can give you a _real_ alias. A valid, legal one. With real IDs, license, birth certificate, address, bank accounts, whatever you need. You'll be able to use it, your name _and_ money freely, without worry." 

"I already do," Krycek interrupted grinning. "Never had any problems before." 

"How many of them are ones the Consortium gave you?" 

As Krycek's expression faded Mulder nodded in confirmation. "Thought so. And how many of _those_ have you dared to use recently? I mean beyond leading them on a merry chase?" 

"Not many." 

"Then this is a good idea, Alex. You'll be able to use one we assign as it'll be legally guaranteed. A real life for you without fear of being detected and we'll be sworn to keep you hidden. Only Scully, myself and the protection division chief will ever know your new identify and only because Scully and I will assume the case." 

"So, let me get this straight. You're going to hide _me?_ Hide _Alex Krycek?_

Mulder nodded against the fingers massaging his scalp and cooed, "Don't worry about the name you go in with, only the one you want coming out." 

"What about 'Skinman'?" 

Mulder tried not to laugh, failed and looked at his lover in surprise. " _That_ what you really call him?" 

"Well, there's also 'four-eyed' and 'dickless'. _Those_ are my _nicer_ ones." 

Mulder winced. "Shit! Alex, you didn't really..." 

Green twinkled under thick lashes. "Sometimes. When I felt generous. That wasn't _too_ often so don't ask what I called him the _other_ times." 

"I won't, believe me! Anyway, Skinner doesn't involve himself in the identify phase. He'd rather not know as long as we can locate the person if there's a need. Actually, it's better that way. The less people that know a witness' new identity and location, the safer they are. That's where we come in as the case agents. We'll be responsible for responding to any problem. We'll be the ones to help you setup, arrange all the changes to your identity and make sure your past is completely wrapped up and closed. You'll cease to exist here. You'll really vanish, Alex. We'll leave hints, tips, maybe you were seen in Venezuela. Or was it near the Amazon?" 

When Krycek managed a slight grin, Mulder nodded hopefully. "As for staying disguised, we can dye your hair, maybe a new cut, color your eyes with contacts, you grow a bread or mustache and viola! So...what do you think of the plan?" 

"I _think_ you're crazy. You've forgotten who we're dealing with, Fox. There's no place you can hide me, no file you can stuff me in that _he_ can't get to." 

Mulder eased back and shook his head. "And you forget procedure, Alex. Those files are locked into so much 'red tape' we have to go through mountains of forms ourselves just to hide you. The name you go into it with doesn't matter. We already have one to use for you. Besides, what reason would _he_ have to investigate a federal witness? You could have done _anything_ for your country. Given away a terrorist cell, snitched on a drug lord or a cartel. Maybe helped put away a Mob boss. All we need is a new name to give you. You've got aliases, Alex, and I'm betting some you created yourself. All we need is one the Consortium doesn't know you by. Surely there's a name in all the ones you have, right?" 

Krycek looked cautious but nodded. "Actually, a few." 

"So give me one." 

"What?" 

"Give me one," Mulder repeated grinning. "We'll need to present that name to Finch. I'll push 'no photo' in the file, we'll get you established and make Krycek vanish for good. I think you should have some time to fully disappear. Maybe a month then the new you can arrive in town. So what do you want your new name to be?" 

Krycek looked back surprised. "You mean now? Like _right now?_ " 

"Well, you can think on the new name, but we should act quickly. I mean the sooner we can let slip that Alex Krycek was caught _and_ lost, the sooner the Consortium will loose interest. And the sooner the new you can get settled in." 

"Yeah," Krycek sniffed. "You _hope_." 

"Alex, please." 

"Okay. Okay. I wanna be called 'Michael Knight'." 

Mulder's expression went a bit flat as did his voice. " _Michael Knight?_ Alex, even _I've_ seen that TV show before. You can do better." 

"Oh really? _Think_ about it. Michael wore a black leather jacket, had dark hair and road around in a black car that talked and kicked ass. He and that car were heroes. Come on now... How much cooler can I _get?_ " 

Mulder leaned back in and nuzzled Krycek's nose. "Personally, _I_ like you hot. _Real hot_." 

"Excuse me! Trying to be _serious_ like you wanted. My name's Michael Knight and not 'Mike'." 

"Okay, then. We can _do_ this." 

"This isn't the norm for an 'X-Files' case, is it?" 

Mulder stiffened, eyes conveying a hurt too deep to cover. "Contrary to what everyone seems to believe, I _am_ a federal agent with the _FBI_ , Alex. That means I can and sometimes _do_ handle _real_ cases. You know...the _normal_ , boring ones?" 

Krycek winced slightly. Mulder had been a source of 'laughing behind the hand' humor for too long and it was finally starting to show. If only people knew. If only the assholes out there realized the pure genius they passed by every day. _His_ hand returned to its caressing almost sadly. "You're taking a big risk on this. On me." 

Mulder's eyes found his, glowed golden. "I think you're _worth_ it." 

"Protection Division's not your normal thing, Fox. How'd you swing this?" Mulder shifted uncomfortable and Krycek felt it. "Fox...?" 

"Adam Finch heads it and he's a former classmate to Scully. They graduated the Academy the same year." 

Krycek's hand stopped and Mulder gazed up into wary eyes. "And he's a _department head?_ A division chief? _Already?!_ Doesn't that worry you just a little?" 

"Well, considering Scully's one of our top medical examiners as well as a Bureau physician, no." Mulder smiled. "You never paid much attention to him back then? Walking around with the clipboard, constantly scribbling? The man's a billboard for new and better ideas. A real pest I've heard. Good pest, but a pest all the same. He was always sending memos, emails, to anyone and everyone to push his ideas. In truth, some were really brilliant and I think initiated. Most of the time he was just overkill. Still, the man's good material no matter how you look at it. Probably better than me since he's always looking for new and better ideas for the Bureau where I'm usually boxed in by the current regulations." 

At this, Krycek actually chuckled and he grinned back. "Don't say a word. Anyway, they promoted him to Witness Protection partly on some solid suggestions he made and mostly to shut him up. He can update his area as much as he wants, within reason. He has, it _does_ work, he's happy and the rest of us get some peace. Scully's calling in a favor." 

Krycek looked skeptical. "And this Finch is just going to _do it_? For Scully?" 

"Finch was raised by his widowed maternal aunt after his parents died in a boating accident. She got him through high school, college, grad school and the Academy. She remarried shortly after that time, to a man Finch was _very_ worried over. Twenty years younger than his aunt; too nice, too helpful, too everything so Scully said. Anyway, his aunt suddenly died. Just dropped dead literally in the front yard. Finch said when he lived with her she'd never been sick a day he could remember; ate well, exercised and had no serious history of family illness. In other words, _nothing_ to set off alarms. But he _didn't_ like her husband. As a favor, Scully obtained and reviewed the ER report and _something_ bothered _her_. No autopsy had been requested." 

The younger man suddenly straightened up and huffed. "Fox, come on! A woman purportedly healthy as an ox drops dead? Suddenly? That's nearly SOP for a full autopsy. Scully'd tell you that." 

Krycek's mind was kicking into research mode. Like the old days. Mulder suddenly realized how much he'd missed that, missed his former partner. "I agree. It is procedure, but we're talking about a small town, Alex. Anyway, Scully was piqued. She pushed here and there, got the death moved to a case file on Finch's behalf and later had the body exhumed with his ok. She and the forensic team dug deep and came up big." 

"And I bet I can get what." Krycek nodded. "She called it a homicide, right?" 

"Yeah and a bad one. Finch's aunt had been poisoned. Small, near indiscriminate amounts of arsenic, various rat poison products, paint stripers, it was scary what she'd ingested. Over years. The local police department's morgue hadn't conducted an autopsy solely because the woman was in her late seventies by then and hadn't seen her doctor recently. From what they were told by her husband, she'd complained occasionally of being tired, a bit unwell. They wrote if off to a heart attack. They didn't push further because they didn't have a motive for anything." 

"They should have _found_ one, Fox," Krycek hissed. "Or made one. Just because someone's elderly doesn't mean..." He paused and sighed. "Sorry. Go on with the story." 

Mulder bit back a smile. Alex's compassion was rising back up again. It was good to know it had been there all along. "I know how you feel; it wasn't a good enough reason. Still, her death didn't raise eyebrows since she _was_ elderly. We know there was damage to her organs due to the poison, no doubt, but again we're talking nice, quiet, _small_ town. Lots of retirees, middle-class incomes; good schools, decent adults and kids. The people probably accepted it as it looked, wrote it off to merely old age and saw it as the usual stuff that wouldn't raise an eyebrow if you had no reason to be concerned. These folks didn't. The husband had been away at the time, attending a class reunion and rushed back after he was informed, completely devastated and racked with grief." 

Krycek's eyes narrowed slightly. "He went _alone?_ " 

" _That's_ what bugged Finch. Why would he leave his new wife here when both could attend a couple's function and have fun? By the time he arrived home, his aunt's husband had already had a memorial service and she'd been buried. Finch was livid that he'd done that, rushed it so, but his uncle said he'd needed the closure. Needed to know he'd done right for her in the end when he'd not before. He blamed himself for being away when he didn't know she was at death's door; gave her a really nice service so I heard. He was also packing at the time. Told Finch he had to return back to his home town to finalize the sale of his previous home. Finch left wondering, did some checking and found out his aunt's accounts had been closed already. Cleaned out. He made some concerned remarks to Scully and that started it all. As the next of kin he okayed the exhumation. They moved while the husband was out of town. Scully's report on his aunt opened up a serious case. Guess what they found?" 

Krycek grinned in spite of himself. "The usual...another lover and a rather large insurance policy." 

Mulder snapped his fingers and chuckled. "Move to the head of the class! Finch's aunt was a stockholder in several major food product companies in the country and hubby wanted in on it. It turned out her investors had suggested a large insurance policy to cover her and her estate. Of course, she named her new husband as the primary beneficiary. _He_ had a 'thing' on the side and from what was later discovered, the woman liked very nice, expensive gifts. She wasn't involved but the husband was charged with murder. This wasn't the first time he'd done this. This murder opened up a bigger investigation in their home city and his former one. He was married before and widowed before. It didn't take much to guess. Another exhumation, another autopsy. He did in his first wife, more slowly, it took twenty years. He'd married young, realized he wanted more and found a way to get it. And with some 'interest'. He took _that_ insurance and simply moved away 'to distance himself from the pain and grief' and found Finch's aunt. A widow with money living in a small town. We put out a warrant and went to get him. A full FBI task force and sheriff's team arrived at his door and the neighbors said he was going away for some time; needed some 'healing time' according to his doctor." 

Krycek snorted. "Uh-huh. Sure" 

"Well, the reasons really didn't matter." Mulder noted. "What did, was he'd actually come back to town. Turns out he was staying around long enough to get the insurance check, sell out the aunt's property, everything. About the same time the teams were at the residence, a realtor pulled up, walked over to the front yard and hammered a 'for sale' sign in the front. That was all we needed. They phoned in a 'lock down' for the local airport and arrived just in time. Fellow'd bought a one-way ticket to Bermuda." 

Krycek snorted in disgust. "Asshole! _Deserves_ to go up the river. Bermuda. Couldn't think of a more obvious place to bail. Shit!" 

"True. Anyway, when he was brought in he tried to play it all off until Scully had him brought to the morgue. Turns out the guy can't handle dead people." 

Krycek nodded. "Few can." 

"I mean seeing 'em, being near them. When he got in the morgue Scully was working on another case file." 

"Oh man," Krycek snickered. "Bet that didn't go over too well." 

"No. He took one look, especially since she'd handcuffed him to the gurney and was dropping ah...'stuff' right in front of him and started squealing like a pig. He knew his wife was going to die soon from what he'd done. He confessed from the moment he started, every night she got into bed at night he'd wait until she was asleep then leave and go downstairs. He was afraid she'd die in bed and he'd be next to her. We did some digging into his background and found out our boy was a former chemist who got fired from his first three jobs for using the company lab off hours for private 'studies'. He was good too, a bit too good for everyone. He'd developed a formula of the mixture he could administer all at once. Alex, Scully had to look _really_ hard; the whole forensic team did! He created a formula so specific, so well processed it almost went undetected. I mean if Scully hadn't had a few chemical specialists working with her, and I consider her the best there is already, but still! If he had gotten away with it this time he could have sold that stuff on the Black Market and had the perfect, undetectable weapon. 'Buy mass murder online now', you know? Instead he wanted _his_ idea of the easy life...marry, 'black widow' off your wife, snap up the insurance and bail to another city or state." 

Krycek frowned. "Sounds like a copy cat killer, though. I swear I saw something like this on A&E's 'Cold Case Files'. It was an investigation from a few decades back." 

"That's him." 

"Shit! _Nasty_ way to do someone...poison." 

Mulder had to smile to himself. Triple agent, assassin, bad guy. Whatever his station, despite all this, Alex thought fair. Straight and to the point was his style when taking someone out: pull the trigger. Even _this_ disgusted him. "Of course people in the neighborhood and the town in general were shocked. The guy was a perfect psychopath; blended in well, never seemed to step out of line, just rather unfortunate in marrying sickly older women. That alone should have tipped someone off; would have if he'd moved back with her to his old town. Well, he's on 'death row' with no parole and his gal pal's probably off with some _other_ jerk in Bermuda. To sum it all up, Finch feels obligated to Scully for looking deeper _and_ convincing him not to sue his hometown's police department for incompetence. He'll cover for us and setup a new identity for you." 

Krycek shook his head slowly. "Fox...that's really not ethical." 

Mulder couldn't believe it, much less who had said it. "Murdering your wife for an insurance policy _is?!_ Offering up the entire world, the whole planet's population to an alien evasion force and potential extermination _is?!_

" _You_ know what I mean. This isn't _your_ way. Your style." 

"What? Being unconventional?" 

"No." Krycek resumed combing through his hair, stared into earnest, worried hazel and sighed. "No, this. All this. You let me go a few more times than you should have. Let me slip away and you knew better. Now this. Don't destroy who you are for me. You're better than this." 

Mulder twisted slightly looking up hard. "Finch is _willing_ to help, Alex. He doesn't know who you are or _what_ you are; only that you're in our protection and need to vanish. You _are_ a witness. Whether _you_ want to look at it that way or not, you are! You know about it all. Too much to not be protected. Finch can help do that. Help _us_ do that. So for once shut up, be grateful and _let us_ help you!" 

He didn't deserve this, the risk his lover and new-found friend were taking. Not at all. He'd have to do a shitload of good deeds to make up for this one gift. The hand stroked more and Mulder murmured under the touch. "You didn't close the door when you left. Why? You pretty much told us you'd bailed. Not _your_ style, you know?" 

Krycek sighed again and went with the new conversation. "That door's older than _I_ am. Makes the loudest bump and click when you shut it. It's heavy oak. I didn't trust Scully not to wake up, see me, forget our peace treaty and blow my tail off." 

"That the _real_ reason or were you _hoping_ we'd come and get you? Convince you to come back?" 

When Krycek remained silent Mulder knew the man's thoughts weren't on that excuse at all; tried another method of peace. " _Why_ did you run? What did I do to scare you off?" 

"You mean _besides_ being in bed with me when I woke up?" 

As Mulder's expression filled with worry and fear Krycek's softened. "Not all you," he murmured. "Just everything in general. You said it yourself, the creeps. This place bothers you, well everything that happened, _is_ happening to us, scares me shitless. How can you explain what's been going on, Fox? The dreams, knowing stuff about each other we've never shared or been told of? Seeing our lives lived through the eyes of another? Forget Scully's thoughts, this isn't something anyone's controlling. Least anyone _human_." 

"That's not the reason you're frightened now, Alex. Not even close." 

" _Don't_ profile me, Fox." 

"I'm not," Mulder sighed, moved his head as the caressing stopped then started again. "Just talk to me, will you?!" 

"Okay... I get out of my shower in my safe, _unknown_ hiding place and who should greet me but the divine 'Saint Scully' who, surprise me, has been tailing me! Who just happens to inform me that my long time nemesis, although a gorgeous, handsome and 'sexy as all get-out' one, is in _love_ with me. Then what should happen but that same sexy guy just happens to pop up from behind my kitchen door to support the same. Now, as if _that_ wasn't enough, Scully threatens me with bodily harm if I don't _acknowledge_ our love and _then_ to my complete surprise, my nemesis fucks my brains out. Rather completely and wonderfully, I might add. Now...you analyze _that_ and tell me I _shouldn't_ be freakin'! 

Mulder chuckled. "If I was reading that as an 'X-Files' case I wouldn't be that concerned." 

"Sure you wouldn't, you're _used_ to weird. Hell, as crazy as _you_ are, you could be related. I don't do 'freaky' that well, Fox. In fact, I've seen enough freaky to know I'm not as good handling it as I once thought." Krycek flexed his left hand in Mulder's hair. "New arm notwithstanding, of course." 

Mulder snuggled closer, nuzzling the hand in his hair with a sigh. "You're better than you suspect. Much better; will be more with me helping you. You just need to...trust me to help. I want to." 

"That's not answering my questions." 

Mulder eased back in frustration. "I don't _have_ any answers, Alex! I've been dreaming about you, living as you. Same as you've been living as me, so you said. I can't explain it, don't want to, save that _because_ of it I finally realize how much our lives were entwined from the start. I learned I love you and need you. By my side." 

Krycek still seemed determined to resist. A little. "I don't want to see you _hurt_ , baby. Not for me. Not _because_ of me. Not now. Anymore. I couldn't live, couldn't handle it, if my actions end up costing you your life." 

Alex had said 'baby'. Mulder felt hope blossom to promise. "I'm going to be fine, Alex. As long as you're with me, I'll be just fine. I meant what I said. We're going to stop them; the Consortium, Cancerman, the whole nasty game but only if we do it together. That means I need you _with_ me. Come home with me. Come _live_ with me, Alex." 

The fingers moved from Mulder's hair. Krycek leaned in, hands sliding around to grip the older man's aforementioned ass tightly. Green glowed intensely, locked on his hazel. "I want you, Fox. Now!" 

Mulder swayed, hypnotized by the intense gaze then blinked hard moaning, "Want you too but not here." He glanced around the room, finally took in an army cot, a few miss-matched blankets and hissed in disgust. "Shit, even the rats probably don't fuck here. Come _home_ with me, baby. Come back to _your_ home. My place. Come live with me. Please?" 

The green gaze softened in frustration. _Well_. So much for _that_ distraction. Mulder was getting immune to it. The only man that had. "Fox, I don't think that's a good..." 

"Why the hell did you come _here_ , Alex? This place is..." 

"Don't," Krycek warned. "Don't give me distaste. You _know_ why. You can't believe someone would live like this and neither would the Consortium. They wouldn't think to look for me here. They think I'm a bit more refined and I let them think that but don't _you_ condemn me for doing anything I can to _stay alive_. Don't! You don't have the right!" 

Mulder frowned. "I'm _not_ condemning you but you can't stay _here_. Jesus, Alex, I saw a _rat_ in here! I mean the 'size of a housecat' size rat!" 

"I'm not a cannibal. And... " Krycek's expression went bland, "I think I have enough money to buy _pizza_ , Fox." 

It took a moment for the reference to register, then the nonchalant attitude and both were too much for Mulder to not respond to. Like always. "Goddamnit, Alex! And _damn you!_ I don't _want_ to fight! I don't want to bandy this around. You _can't_ stay here! This place is a dump! There's a drunk out cold down there. I noticed remnants of joints on the floor and what looked like a syringe in the corner. This could be an addict house. You're not safe here and the place has no heat! _You'll freeze!_ " 

"And you're really worried about that?" 

" _Fucking Christ, yes!_ " Mulder screamed flinging his arms skyward. He walked off a pace, spun back. "What the hell _more_ do I have to do to _convince_ you once and for all I care?! That I _love_ you?! I can't walk on water, Alex, but I can tread it pretty well. Will _that_ do?!" 

Krycek looked off for a moment. This wasn't exactly going the way he'd hoped but then he knew the moment he left it wouldn't. The odds around Mulder were never that good. "No, it's okay. I'm fine. It's just a side. I'm okay for the night." 

"What about your car? I didn't see it. Aren't you worried someone might break into it?" 

"Worried about yours?" 

Here they went again. "I've _heard_ what you think about my car, Alex. Way you talk it might be better if it _did_ get stolen." 

Krycek frowned. "I never..." He noticed Mulder tapping his head and sighed. The dreams again. "Yeah...okay. I did...have some opinions on that." 

" _Uh-huh._ " 

"Mulder, my car's hidden down the road. Abandoned garage. I'll be fine. Just...go!" 

Mulder took in the torn, button-less shirt, nearly rags; wished he'd let it be. Alex had found time to grab the sweater but it wasn't much more; a thread-bare man's sweater with leather elbow-patches that had seen better times, the right elbow little more than a half-dollar sized hole from which torn shirt winked at him. He felt the cold through the army jacket, still fought shivers and knew the sweater had no hope of helping his lover at night. He swallowed with worry. 

"Alex, it's _cold_ here. It's getting dark out. I've been shivering since I left the car. I don't even know how long you've been here already but it'll be in the teens tonight. You'll _freeze!_ Please...don't stay here. _Please._ " 

It was a desperate attempt. Alex Krycek was a survivor; had lived through more things that Mulder knew _he'd_ probably not have survived. The man had an arm hacked off without anesthesia for Christ's sake! Knew the dream of that alone had nearly killed _him_ , was glad he'd yet to dream about how Alex had it re-grown. That might be _too_ much. Still worry, concern and yes, love, made him push. 

"Alex, please! Come on! Don't stay here!" 

"All this from a man going around barefoot in the dead of winter. _You_ should be sneezing by now. Why _are_ you risking yourself for me? Your career? What good am I to you? And don't fall back on the dreams to tell me." 

Mulder didn't have to. "Alex, I wanted to believe as well. Way back. I _never_ stopped wanting to believe we'd be together. Despite our anger, problems, I always wanted you. Wanted a chance. I finally woke up and realized I couldn't _wait_ for it. Realized that I needed to go _after_ it; and that you _can_ blame on the dreams." 

Krycek swallowed, stunned by what he'd just heard. It wasn't the first time Mulder had said this; he was now sure it wouldn't be the last. Mulder really meant it. All of it. He watched the man walk off to stand at the window, rub his arms and stare out. The voice that rose up was choked with emotion. 

"I wanted you. Back then. Wanted you, maybe loved you from the start and I was scared! _I_ was the coward then, Alex. Afraid for my career and mostly myself. I'd never fallen that hard in my life. Fallen in love so fast." 

"You... You really did love me? Cared about me?" 

Mulder kept staring off as he nodded. "I was so fucked up the first moment I saw you I didn't know what to do. That's why I acted so aloof. I wasn't being a shit, I was stunned speechless." 

"Rare. For you, I mean." 

"That's what you did to me," Mulder sighed. "When I looked up and saw you; those green eyes, that beautiful face... I was some kind of messed up. I tried to ignore my feelings for you and I failed." 

"So you took it all out on me," Krycek surmised. "I get it, Fox." 

Mulder didn't look back as he shook his head. "No, you don't. All those times I kicked the shit outta you weren't just for the crap you were doing. It was because you were with... _him_." 

"Him? Who's 'him'?" 

"You dreamed this too, Alex. You know." Mulder kept staring outward. "Him. Smoking Boy." 

He _had_ dreamed it but it was still a shock to hear Fox say it aloud. "Him? _Him?!_ Fucking shit, Fox! You think I let him fuck me?! You think he was my...?" 

"No, Alex. No. Not now. Not after what I've dreamed about you but you were under his thumb then. What was I _supposed_ to think? See? I didn't know how much you hated him as well. I should have known but I was so... _angry_ back then. I took what I thought I saw, hated you for that as well and it cost us both so much. If I had only admitted to myself...to you, from the start, things might have been better for us." 

"Probably," Krycek murmured, stunned by too much to stay angry. "We'd both be dead now. The minute Old Smokey knew we were together we've have both been put away. Whatever happened to the world after _that_ , we wouldn't have given a damn." 

Mulder wheeled around. "God, Alex! How can you act so...?" 

A hand waved the air dismissively. "Forget it. I'm not in a good mood. Go on." 

A bit lost and deeply confused, Mulder sighed and turned back to the window. "What _I'm_ trying to say is that you told me all along. Every time we confronted each other and I accused you of not giving me, us, a chance to help you, you said you never had a chance. A choice. I didn't want to accept that, believe it, until I realized how many choices _I'd_ made weren't really of my own planning. I blamed _you_ for not being able to control things, not wanting to accept how many things _I_ couldn't control as well. For that...I'm truly sorry." 

Krycek stared at the back of his lover in shock. Before he could say a word Mulder prepared to shock him further. "Alex? One more thing. You...you didn't do it." 

"What? What didn't I do?" 

"Bill. Alex, you didn't kill him. _Cardinale_ did it." 

A small gasp rose up behind him but Mulder kept going. "I dreamed this one too. I was _there_ that night. I was there, Alex. _Right there_. I was there as you; moving through the house as you. I saw...I saw Bill standing there. I...I saw the flash, saw him fall, but there's something else." 

Now he turned slowly to look at the startled younger man; stared into two huge eyes in a paling face. "Alex, I _heard_ the gunshots. There was an echo in the air. Not from one gun but _two!_ " 

" _What?!_ What the fuck...?" 

"Alex...that night you _missed!_! You never hit..." 

"Noooo..." Krycek gasped, the table under him rattling as he began to tremble. "Don't _do this_ , Fox! Don't _try_ to absolve me of..." 

"Alex, just shut the hell up and _listen_ to me!" 

As Krycek's mouth closed slowly, Mulder raked a hand through his hair to steady himself. "I...when I started dreaming about you, living as you, I was there that night. As you. I saw it all, Alex, but I also _heard_ it. I heard two identical shots. Fired almost simultaneously. Yours _and_ Cardinale's!" 

"Mulder, _don't_ do this!" Krycek pleaded again, face stricken in shock. "Don't try to find a _reason_..." 

"Alex, I asked you to shut up," Mulder chuckled low. "Don't make me come over there and _gag_ you." 

The joke went right over the younger man's head too stunned to catch it but he shut up. Mulder went on. "Thank you. As I was saying, I heard the sounds. You've got great hearing, I can't believe you didn't catch it. Maybe you did, but just can't recall. Maybe not. Whatever the case, I've been on a firing range before. Lots of times. I've heard the sound of two guns going off at the same time. I _know_ that sound. Anyway, I kept dreaming that dream. Over and over. I saw everything but I kept hearing that sound more. To the point I knew something was different. I finally talked to Scully about it." 

Krycek paled again but remained silent. 

"I didn't go into any details with her save telling her I was having a nightmare. I have those a lot so she didn't react any worse than normal." Mulder again smiled slightly. "I'd just started dreaming things, still wasn't sure what was happening, but this one was intense; that one moment so demanding I told her what I'd dreamed, felt, ranted so much about it she decided to check into the ballistic report. I couldn't, as you know." 

Krycek didn't nod but understood. Skinner had probably had the report sealed for Mulder's sanity. Told him only what was obvious, what he'd witnessed there in the house: Bill was shot. "She looked into it and Ballistics showed not one gun but two were fired that night. The slugs that killed my father were from Cardinale's gun. Not yours." 

As Krycek sat there shaking, he looked at him carefully. "What did you have on you that night, Alex? A Sig, perhaps?" 

Now Krycek responded with a choked, shaky, "But I... Fox, I..." 

Mulder nodded. "Yes, you fired but your bullets missed! Instead they hit the wall _behind_ Dad. Ballistics dug them out and noted them on the report as fired from a different gun. A Sig. _Your_ gun. It was listed on the report pending more research. They were going to go back later to complete their investigation on it when the case was suddenly closed by order. You know _by who_ and why." 

Krycek's eyes closed for just a moment. //So it wasn't Skinner. Damn the smoking shit!// He opened them on Mulder's hard expression. 

"Alex, listen to me! The file was sealed. When she couldn't request it, Scully slipped into the records room and stole it!" He nodded at Krycek's shocked blink. "Yes, I'm talking about Scully. She stole the file, broke the seal, read it all and replaced the report in another file. Resealed it. She learned the truth and so did I." 

"How the hell did she...?" 

Mulder shook his head. "I don't know and I haven't asked but she got into the sealed records room, got the file and read it. Told me everything." 

"Fox, she could have been..." 

"Arrested? Thrown out of the Bureau? I know, but my concerns piqued hers. We needed answers and got them but we both still had a lot of questions. Ones only you could answer for us. You showed up at my door with perfect timing." 

Krycek's eyes pleaded with Mulder's to see reason. "Fox...that file doesn't even have to be the _real_..." 

"Do you have any duct tape?" 

Green eyes blinked confused. "What?!" 

"Duct Tape. Got any in your car?" 

"No. In the past, yeah, but I'm not 'for hire' anymore," Krycek huffed. "What the hell do you want _that_ for?" 

"Your mouth! Do you think you can be quiet and let me _finish?!_ " 

Krycek sighed but stopped talking and Mulder went on. "I know none of it has to be real but I _dreamed_ this, Alex. It fits perfectly. Right down to _where_ they found the slugs in the wall. The report just confirms my dream and _proves_ you didn't kill him. After that, Scully couldn't argue that something _is_ happening to me, us, just not what." 

"If you knew this, knew the truth, why did she ask me...?" 

"To see what _you_ knew. Remembered. Cardinale was sent with you as a backup. You said to mark you. I guess he didn't trust you to do it, decided to make the choice _for_ you. Somehow, you both fired as one only you missed. Scully wanted to know what you remembered. Wanted to know what you'd say, if anything. We needed to see if you knew the truth. You didn't; still blamed yourself. When you admitted you'd killed my father, I stood behind that kitchen door aching. Because I knew you _hadn't_ done it." 

"I... I fired. I saw him fall and I froze for a moment. I couldn't..." Krycek paused, licked his lips. "I ran then. Cardinale was already out the door... I thought I was the only..." His eyes steadied on Mulder. "If you knew all this _then_ , why didn't you _tell_ me?! You could have told me back at your apartment. At any time! Why didn't you?! Why now?!" 

Mulder's cheeks flamed. He reached up to tug at a thatch of hair nervously. "I... I didn't get the chance. I kinda had more _important_ things on my mind. Like trying to get you back after I threw you out. Trying not to let you run. Going after you when you did. Scully left it to me to tell you. I just got overwhelmed. I'm not a good cook, Alex. I guess I had _too much_ on the stove to even _find_ a back burner." 

The green gaze shied away from him, Krycek's face reddening as well. "Um, okay. I un-understand." 

"That night in Dad's house, I was you. I saw myself looking at him, felt my...your finger squeeze the trigger. I heard two guns go off but I felt something as well. I felt you move. Alex, you _moved_. At the last second you moved and missed hitting him. You never _saw_ the report, did you? Never got to _read_ it?" 

A dark head moved back and forth slowly and Mulder sighed. "I didn't think so. There was no need _for_ you to then. Bill was dead, the hit done and you didn't need to know." He began to pace slowly. "You knew he'd called me? Asked me to come see him?" 

There was a sigh. "We _all_ heard, Fox. You know that." 

"Alright. So... Did _you_ plan to kill him to stop him from talking _or_ were you told to kill him?" 

Another sigh, "What do _you_ think?" 

There was no hostility in the question; no smart-ass. Mulder nodded. "I think you were ordered. Cardinale was ordered to back you up but _you_ weren't going to kill anyone." 

"What?" 

It was the softest of whispers but it reached Mulder's ears. He paused in his pacing and nodded firmly. "You forget... I haven't just been dreaming your life, I've been _living_ it. _Feeling_ it. I felt you, Alex. I felt _us_ for want of a better word. Just like I felt you move, I knew you didn't want to kill him. You wanted to just scare him, threaten him to keep quiet not kill him. Like with Scully. I think _they_ knew you wouldn't do it; didn't want to and that's when they _ordered_ you to. Or else. Am I right?" 

Krycek's head lowered but he said nothing. It was enough for Mulder to nod again. "I thought so." 

The head lifted slightly but the eyes remained downcast. "Fox? You need to understand..." 

Mulder wagged his hand. "I do. Just bear with me. I'm going to do a little profiling now. Work with me on this, okay?" 

Krycek nodded dully. "Okay." 

Mulder resumed his pacing. "You told Scully that Cardinale was a worse killer than you could ever be. I agree. He took a rather fanatical delight in his work. So tell me this... Why did the Consortium need _two_ assassins to take on one elderly man? If Cardinale was _so_ good, enjoyed killing _so_ much, why bother sending a backup and not him alone? Why send _you_ considering you'd already failed a vital hit? That hadn't exactly earned you a 'gold star' with them I'm sure." He ignored the pained expression and pushed further. "Alright, let me put it _this_ way... Why send you _at all_?" 

Krycek looked confused and doubtful. Shocking on the normally controlled face. "I... I don't know." 

"Let _me_ tell you. They knew I was on the way; _knew_ I'd blame you for it sight unseen. But if I did actually _see_ you..." 

Krycek got it. "You'd kill me immediately. Regardless." 

"Or Cardinale probably would have followed through by killing us both. They sent you for your death, Alex, not for a hit. They didn't trust you to do it. That you _did_ fire saved your life." 

Mulder stopped pacing and turned to look his young lover dead in the eyes. "There wasn't just _one_ hit planned for that night, Alex. You were right. You were going to die too. _If_ you hadn't fired and even if you _did_. But Cardinale must have been impressed. You said it yourself, he was a killer beyond what you felt you could ever become. He _had_ to look at what you did, knew that you'd just made me your worst enemy and figured you had spunk enough to handle the pressure. You impressed him. Enough he didn't kill you, went back with you, told them you'd followed through and probably said nothing about firing himself. I..." 

For a moment Mulder's face seemed to pale in the fading light then he looked up. "His firing was supposed to be a coda, Alex. A final confirmation that Bill would die, that's all. Just enough to cover the hit. It was _publicly_ listed as a robbery gone bad. I imagine one of the Consortium's cronies was there with Ballistics, noted the two guns and sent out an alert. The files were closed shortly after and all I knew was what I saw that night. And later dreamed. You missed, but Cardinale's praise worked. In a sick way, he gave you a glowing report for effort at least, convinced them you were still useful and that kept you alive." 

Krycek _did_ look sick, a strange tint rising on his face. He gulped a few times and breathed out hard. "Yeah, just so _you_ could have the honors later. Shit." 

"I know. I almost did. It was perfect. I arrived in time to watch Bill die; just _knew_ who to blame and your certainty you had killed him helped to fan the flames. Our personal war escalated, only I failed to finish their plan. I refused to kill you. Didn't let Skinner kill you. I said it earlier... I hated you but I loved you too." 

Krycek said nothing and Mulder looked at him carefully. "Of course, once we apprehended Cardinale we got answers. Just before he died. By the time Scully got back to me with the truth of the report, I was deep in the dreams; learning about you and me. Learning a lot of _truths_. I was in so bad I finally _had_ to tell her what was going on but _I_ don't think the Consortium's responsible for all this; making us dream the things we have. I mean we're learning stuff about each other they don't want or _need_ us to. Not _their_ style. Still, I think she's right on one thing. They _want_ us to kill each other for them; betting on our mutual animosity to do the deed. They're content to wait us out; let us make the call. The time and place. That plausible denial you spoke of, those 'clean hands'... What better way to stay above the bloodshed than have your two pawns do each other in _for_ you?" 

When Krycek looked at him he nodded. "Alex, if you hadn't fired Cardinale would have, would have killed you and me as well and probably still been murdered later as he was. Nothing would have changed. Bill would be dead. You, I, and Cardinale would all be dead. And who would _still_ have been absolved on any of it?" 

Green eyes darkened and Mulder saw the blaze of anger even from across the room. "I should have killed that fucking sonofabitch a long time ago! Even if I'd died a breath later. Damnit!" 

"I'm glad you didn't. I would have lost an ally. One I should have had by my side all along. _Had_ until I was convinced you weren't. That's _another_ apology I owe you." 

"Fox?" 

"Yes?" 

"Does... Has Skinner seen it?" 

Mulder shook his head. "No. Not yet. But we plan to make him aware of it. It won't change everything between you and him but it will take the things he still holds you to blame for down a notch." 

The nanotechonology. The torture. Krycek nodded absently. No, Skinner wouldn't have _that_ much to clear him of at all. "Yeah. Yeah, thanks." 

Krycek blinked quietly as Mulder took a few steps towards him and stopped. "Scully made a copy of the report, we have it safely hidden. You can look at it whenever you want." 

Krycek shook his head slowly. "That's okay. I don't need to see it. That _you_ told me is enough. I believe you. " 

Mulder knew he did. "Alex, we've both been played badly, but you've gotten the worst of it. For years I've blamed you for something you _never_ did! Held you responsible for an action you either unconsciously or deliberately _never_ did! I should have looked into that report sooner, should have demanded it! I didn't! It was easier to blame _you_. After all, you were in the midst of it, why doubt? Because I didn't check and because I did blame you, I also held you at fault for something that you _did_ do. You made a _choice!_ " 

"What...choice?" 

Mulder sighed, stared down at the floor for a moment before looking back. "Whether you planned to or not, you missed that night. You're an expert marksman, a crack shot. An assassin too well skilled to miss but you did. You moved. You moved just enough. Whether you wanted to, actually missed or didn't, you didn't kill him." 

Krycek was quiet, eyes still wide but the color seemed to be returning on his flesh. Mulder watched him swallow slowly, saw the look of thanks on the handsome features and smiled carefully. "All through this madness you tried to counter things. Tried to warn me early. The Augustus Cole file, Skyland Mountain, the diplomatic pouch, all of it. You tried to send me the messages that might have helped us, stopped this sooner and all I did was stare right at you and hate _you_. Still, you tried to aid us; an impressive feat considering who was probably staring over your shoulder the entire time. That takes skill and cunning. Two abilities I need with _me_. Now." 

"What are you _telling_ me?" 

"Two things. One...you're right. This _is_ a game. To them, to the aliens, maybe. To us, a very sick, twisted and violent game. A game with more plays, countermoves, checks and balances than either of us can hope to maneuver through alone. We need to work on this together." 

"And the _second_ thing?" 

Mulder offered a careful smile. "The wrongs between us are over now, Alex. The slate's clean. Everything I blamed you for, you righted. Saving Scully, helping Skinner, you paid back the bad with good, one way or another. Now...there's only one thing left to resolve." 

Krycek looked worried again, spoke slowly. "What... What's that?" 

"I blamed you for a lot of things, held you responsible for too much. Always faulted you for never making a choice. Well, you're getting an _official_ chance _now_. Choose! Choose to be happy for once. Choose to be loved, supported and know that by making that choice you'll love and support someone who needs it as much as you. Say you'll come back with me, live with me and help me fight! Help me _stop_ this! Please*, Alex! Make the right choice your _first_ one. 

"I..." 

The agent remained where he was; schooled his features to solemnity. "The choice is all yours. I'll accept whatever _you_ decide. If no, I'll leave. Scully and I will leave your house and write you off to having run. No one will try to find out who you were or where you went. I know you didn't get that house in your own name so you'll still be safe to flee. I won't bother you again or risk your safety. Consider it my final apology for all the things I held against you. Did to you. I owe you that if nothing else." 

//Damn him! Damn him for doing this to me!// Krycek was torn. For the first time he wished he'd never complained. He wanted Mulder; wanted the love, the feelings that until a few hours ago he'd only fantasized, dreamed of. He had to choose to accept Mulder's love. If he did he'd also have to accept the possibility of dealing with his death. Now he had to decide. Could he? Did he want to? 

//Sure, you do. Neither of you is immortal, you know that. Even if you _weren't_ in this mess, you'd both eventually grow old, die, what's the big deal? At least you'd be with the one you _want_ ; spend your lives together no matter how long or short the time would be. What other lovers would argue that chance? So stop being a real pansy and choose!// 

Choose. 

"I... I _want_ to be with you, Fox. I just..." 

Hearing the lingering doubt, Mulder moved quickly across the room, leaned in wrapping his hand around the back of his lover's neck and pulled them into a hot kiss. His tongue eased in, caressed Krycek's and he felt the body against his soften. Began trembling again. It was a dirty, nasty trick; knowing what it was doing to his lover. He remembered words from the dreams, his noting being a 'nasty little shit' when he wanted something. It was true. He could play as dirty as anyone when he had to. 

Oh baby, did he _have_ to! 

Mulder noticed the flavor of Alex's mouth - spearmint mixed with the tang of smoke, menthol and coffee. He'd taken time to brush his teeth. //Typical gay guys, us. Never want to miss an opportunity.// He pushed the kiss, drove it to the brink of madness then pulled away panting. "I'm going to say it again, as many times as it takes. _I love you!_ If you want to be with me, then come _home_ with me. Now!" 

He focused puppy dog eyes on his younger lover, fixed them into a look of 'lost and frightened'. Krycek was done and knew it. Giving up he wheezed, "What about my stuff?" 

"I can call Scully from the car. Tell her to pack a bag for you, enough for a week or so. We can tell the others we're relocating a witness again for safety. They won't ask who. We'll have your stuff boxed up and put in storage." Mulder lifted his hand to hold back a possible cry of outrage. "Just for a few weeks. Give the Consortium the impression you're out of commission for good then I'll have it brought over." 

"No, no. Just leave it in storage. There won't be enough room at your place for all that." 

"Well maybe..." Mulder looked at his lover wistfully. "Maybe in a while we can look for a larger place. For both of us." 

They stared quietly, both knowing they'd already made this decision some time before and Mulder worked a careful, hopeful smile. "Um, did you buy that house?" 

"Nah, I just rented it. Rent's up in June. " 

"Then that gives us a chance to pay you out. That's three months from now. Shouldn't be _too much_." 

Krycek shook his head. "Fox, don't. I'll take care of it. How the hell would you explain the cost to Skinner? It might cause questions. Don't take the risk. Not for me." 

"Alex, _I_ have money. Lots of it. I don't travel much on my own; don't take vacations although I should, don't over purchase... 

"Haven't looked in your closet lately, huh?" 

"I _mean_ I don't spend on what I don't _need_..." 

"You _mean_ you don't ever buy food." 

"Point taken." Mulder grimaced. "Anyway, I don't spend a lot; have a good relationship with my landlord and a fair rent. I think I can help out." 

"I don't need the help. Really Fox, I'll take care of it. I can get the money out of the bank from one of my accounts." 

"Alex, do you have _enough?_ " 

Krycek looked at him quietly. "More than enough. I'm wanted, Fox, not destitute. I'm not leading the 'glamorous life' for a reason but I've got funds." He glanced off with a slight smile. "If you knew how much I have, you'd shit in those jeans. Literally." 

Mulder didn't want to know; knew how the man had gotten it and that was enough. Best to move onto other thoughts. Fast! "Okay, fine," he agreed. "But _we'll_ make the payment. It needs to look like you've vanished and we've got the place under evidence and surveillance. I'll get the 'Gunmen' to help, plant the right info on the web. Make sure Cancerman's little hackers find what we need them to; that we got a tip and caught you. That'll make it more realistic that you're out of the game. Of course shortly after he's apprehended, Alex Krycek will _somehow_ manage to escape us and vanish completely. All our attempts to locate him will fail. There was never enough on you to make you a 'most wanted' anyway, no offense." 

Krycek managed a smirk. "None taken, of course." He sobered some, shook his head sadly. "Skinner's going to chew you a new asshole for this, Fox. If he believes this, he'll think you had me. Lost me. Scully'll pay for it too." 

"Maybe," Mulder acknowledged. "But I'll get over it. So will Scully. Skinner will too. In time." 

"And what will we do if he decides to pay a visit? Just drop by to ride your ass for something? What are you going to do then?" 

Mulder chewed on his lip. _That_ would be a very interesting day for sure. Before Alex could push it he sighed. "We'll deal with it when it happens. Hopefully we'll be able to give him something that will help. Help us all. You did say you had more to provide. You may have to sing after all but it'll help us. All of us." 

Krycek nodded staring off. "Yeah, I did say that." He looked back. "And I will. I promised I'd help. Even if Skinner puts a hole through me I'll tell you what I can. Last breath and all. 

Mulder didn't want this, this moment of sobriety when he was so happy he thought he'd burst. He slapped his lover's leg playfully. "I thought _I_ was the brooding type. We'll deal with it when we have to, okay? So..." he grinned, "We'll set up a new witness location for someone and loose Alex Krycek to boot. While that's happening, a new tenant will soon move into my building. We'll get you an apartment, have mail delivered, everything but you'll just be a name on the door buzzer. Your _home_ will be with _me_." 

Krycek sighed dramatically. "And here I'd thought about having embroidered towels done up for the place." 

"Sorry, you'll have to deal with _my_ junk for a while. Now, _we_ need a bath, we're dusty and all. So let's go. Oh, and no smoking. Okay? Give me the cigarettes." 

Krycek chuckled, his resolve gone. "I don't have any. I found that one in the glove compartment. Damn thing must have been a year old or so. Don't worry; it didn't taste that great anyway. Stale as shit. Guess I can do without from now on. I _could_ use a shower and as to your stuff... Fox, you bought a new sofa and chair arrangement. Believe me, your shit's _already_ better than mine." 

Mulder thought to his lover's former digs - the penthouse apartment that had been something of a fantasy and sighed inwardly. Alex had lost _so much_ in his short life. It was time he had _something_. "Maybe you can help me keep it this time. You know, help me clean a little. It'll be _your_ home as well so it should be neat. You're into that more than I am." 

"Ahhh..." Krycek mused. " _That's_ what this is all about. _You_ want to put me into an apron with a dust brush." 

Mulder's eyes darkened with lust. "I _was_ thinking that, but only if the apron's _all_ you're wearing. Interested?" 

Krycek eased off the table, walked to the door and opening it turned back. "Well? What are you _standing_ there for? You drove, didn't you? You might as well follow me, so _come on!_ " 

The man's emotions were a road of twists and turns but at least this time they were both on the same path. Letting out a whoop, Mulder moved, swept his lover up into his arms and carried him down the steps laughing the whole way. Stepping over the drunk he lowered Krycek to his feet and turned to the prone man sobering; face going serious. 

"Alex, we need to get him someplace warm." 

Krycek sighed and shook his head. "He can't feel it anyway, Fox. He was dead when I got here. I checked." 

Mulder wheeled on his lover horrified. "What?! Alex, you didn't..." 

"No! Of course not! And the sweater I got from the Salvation Army. If I look like a bum, people leave me alone!" 

Mulder looked back down, noticed the pale, ashy tint of the man's one exposed hand and sighed concerned he'd overlooked that earlier. The beginning stench of death, calmed by the still chilly, winter air was a second insult to his training. //You need to pay more attention. This man _could_ have easily been a killer following Alex. Waiting for _both_ of you.// "Alex, we should at least call the police." 

"And wait for them?" 

"No...I'll call from a store or something. I won't ID myself; this isn't a matter for us. I'll tell them I'm from out of town and in a lost driving moment, I think I saw someone, some kids, enter the building then run out screaming. Knowing it's signed off as 'no trespass' thought I should call. That screaming bit will get them here. He deserves care." 

Alex glanced up a bit surprised then not. "Sure. Okay. But use this." He reached into his jeans pocket and pulled out a cell phone. "It's an out-of-state line. It'll make the call more realistic. Pay phones are a bit hard to find nowadays." 

Mulder took it and sighed. "But if this is _your_ phone, do you really want me to call from it? For this?" 

Krycek pulled another phone from the other pocket and held it up. "This is the one I use. _That_ belongs to another...me. A salesman who's seldom if ever at home. It'll work. If you don't think so, I've two more in the car. Different states." 

"That's a lot of cell phone payments to keep up with." 

Krycek smirked. "I can keep up with them _and_ pay them too." 

Yeah, he could. Mulder gave up and looked at the body sadly. "Did... Did you...know him?" 

"No, not really. He just hung around. Saw him from time to time; whenever I used this place. I gave him a smoke once. He never said a word, just nodded. Didn't give a name and I didn't share mine. Nice neighbor though, you know? Never demanding; kept to himself." 

Mulder nodded. "We should cover him." He looked around at the strewn newspapers and Krycek shook his head. 

"Just wait. I got it." 

He vanished back up the steps, returned a moment later and draped one of the blankets over the deceased man as Mulder smiled. "That's nice, Alex. Thank you." 

Krycek stood back up and shrugged. "Don't. It was _his_. He gave it to me. Seems only fair he should have it back for good." 

For a moment they stood quietly, Mulder showing respect for an unknown that amazed Krycek yet again. "Fox, they're going to know someone was here." 

"You didn't do anything, Alex. We both know what killed him. I'm sure the autopsy will show the same. For all anyone will really care, that room up there was his. He could have been trying to return to it. But he deserves some respect regardless. It's the least we can do. Now let's go." 

He turned for the outer door and the alley. As they walked he glanced at his lover thoughtfully. 

"What?" 

"You were going to stay in that place. With a soon-to-be decomposing body one floor below you? God, Alex." 

Krycek stopped and turned to look at the man carefully. "When I was in that silo I dealt with a lot worse. Funny how you own excrement stops offending when you think it's the last thing you'll _ever_ smell." 

Turning, he headed for his car. Mulder, joyful moment appropriately quelled, followed respectfully a pace behind. He settled behind the wheel, watched as Alex's Lexus finally appeared on the road, heaved a deep breath his lover hadn't changed his mind again and slowly pulled out behind him. 

As they headed back into the DC outskirts, he made the call as promised hanging up quickly. Tossing the phone to the passenger's seat, he reached over to turn on the radio needing some sound to calm his anxiousness. Alex might still careen off a side road and peel away leaving him in the dust of a hearty V-8, 350 horsepower blast but he hoped he wouldn't. Still, some music to calm would help. 

He twisted the knob, working through static until he landed on a jazz station he'd listen to occasionally. Sounded like they might have something good on. 

*'And that was Kenny G's latest. Now we've got a great little number by Maysa called 'Out of The Blue'. You're listening to 'Sweet Dreams At Midnight' and Leon, here on Jazz FM."* 

As the song began, Mulder suddenly found himself listening, the nice rhythm appealing. He blinked when the singer's voice eased in; smooth, powerful and deeply feeling. 

_Out of the blue, straight to my heart_ _Wasn't expecting you so soon_  
_But I'm so glad you're here, in my life_ _Now everything is gonna be all right_

_Out of the blue, straight from my dreams_ _Unselfish love is what you bring_  
_Boy, I'm so glad you're here in my life_ _Now everything is gonna be all right_

The lyrics stunned Mulder, as if the song had been written for him and Alex; for how he felt now. How he felt after the dreams. It was eerie but eerie was okay with him. While he wasn't a _huge_ jazz or R &B fiend, this was good! His head began to bob in time, a soft humming picked up the melody quickly. 

_Now just before you came along_  
_My heart was singing old sad love songs_ _Each and every passing day_  
_I would pray that you would come my way_

_Just feeling weak, but I've stayed strong_ _Strong enough just to hold on to_  
_When it's the answer to my prayers_  
_And like a bolt of lighting_

_Out of the blue, into my heart_  
_Wasn't expecting you so soon_  
_But I'm so glad you're here, in my life_ _Now everything is gonna be all right_

_Out of the blue, straight from my dreams_ _Unselfish love is what you bring_  
_Boy, I'm so glad you're here, in my life_ _Now everything is gonna be all right_

Suddenly Mulder tipped up his head and began singing the chorus at the top of his lungs. No one had ever heard him sing that he knew of. They would have been surprised at the decent voice. Scully might not have him committed for this inane burst of unusual happiness if she knew he could hold a tune. Maybe Alex would get a chance to pass on the news. 

_Now that I have you here with me_  
_My heart is singing joyful melody_  
_I never had a love so rare_  
_So wherever you go, I will be there_

_Out of the blue, into my heart_  
_Wasn't expecting you so soon_  
_But I'm so glad you're here, in my life_ _Now everything is gonna be all right_

_Out of the blue, straight from my dreams_ _Unselfish love is what you bring_  
_Boy, I'm so glad you're here in my life_ _Now everything is gonna be all right_

_Out of confusion, pain and despair_  
_The universe has finally answered my prayer_ _And sent me an angel from above, yeah_ _Full of joy, happiness and love_  
*Eyes so beautiful (so beautiful)*  
*I love you (I love you)* 

Mulder rocked back and forth as the singer began a slick bit of 'scatting'; 'be-bops', do-be-do's' and other sounds made him gasp, impressed. His fingers patted out a rapid beat on the steering wheel, hips now swaying in the seat as the mood and the music swept him up. He was instantly a fan. 

He did manage to pay attention long enough to brake behind Krycek at the next red light; watched as the younger man turned in his seat to stare back at him amused and surprised. 

Blushing but so happy he didn't care, he flashed his lover a leering look, flicked out his tongue in an all too understood gesture and pointed at the now green signal. In the headlight's glow he saw Krycek arch a brow before turning around and speeding off. 

_So glad, you're with me_  
_Baby, I love you_  
_So glad, you're with me_  
_Baby, I love you_

Picking back up on the final verse of the song, Mulder stomped the gas pedal. 

* * *

Location Unknown  
Alexandria, VA  
Saturday, late evening 

Mulder leaped out of his car and was at Krycek's as the man eased from behind the wheel. 

"What was all that in the car, Fox?" 

Mulder fought the blush and shrugged. "Just some music. I knew the song, just... Just got lost for a moment." 

"You were singing, weren't you?" 

"I, um..." 

Krycek actually smiled, even teeth bright in the streetlights. "Didn't know you could sing." 

The blush beat him out. Mulder gazed off seriously shaken. Could Alex have heard him? At the stoplight? He'd probably looked like a complete idiot. One thing he didn't want to, to Alex. "I-I can't. I mean, I-I don't think I..." 

"Hey, don't pass out. S'kay. I sing in the shower. Don't know if I can either but I try." 

That was a supportive lie and Mulder knew it. Had heard his former partner singing on one of their case rides; the radio sending out cheery tunes, Alex's foot tapping the beat as the younger man stared out the window lost in the music. He'd listened. A lot. Alex had an incredible voice; clean and clear. Once took up an old Eagles song, 'Desperado' and made it something beautiful; harmonizing along with Henley in a causal almost absentminded way that nearly brought him to tears. How such talent had been turned and used so wrong... 

"Anyway, who _cares_ if I can sing or not? What difference does it matter? I do it anyway. It's just nice, you know? Makes _me_ happy. I need some happiness. And Fox? _You_ looked... _happy_." 

//Okay, what the hell?// Mulder looked back smiling softly. " _I am_." 

Krycek gazed at him quietly then he turned. He now stared at the front door to his home with something akin to actual terror. "Well...guess _I_ better go face the music, huh?" 

Mulder moved to his side. "Not alone. If that helps." 

Krycek glanced at the low lighting from the dwelling with a sigh. "Yeah, I suppose. She probably won't rip me apart with a witness, if I'm lucky. I don't know _why_ shit always happens to me." 

Mulder looked at him steadily for a moment. "You know...the three hardest things to say are 'I love you', 'I'm sorry' and *'help me'*." Not waiting for a response he headed up the driveway. 

"Well, _that_ pretty much explains my fucked up life." Krycek sagged slightly as he followed his lover to the door. 

* * *

Scully looked up as Mulder entered, rose from the sofa as Krycek moved behind him, peeking around his lover nervously. She nodded to her partner before glaring hard at the man behind him. "Alex Krycek, would you please come here." 

"Michael Knight." 

Scully blinked. "Excuse me? Who?" 

Mulder leaned into his lover's ear. "I wouldn't _go there_ right now, Alex." 

"But _you_ said..." 

" _Not right now_ , Alex!" 

Scully frowned as she wagged a finger. "Alex, _I'm waiting_." 

Mulder stepped to the side, watched his lover meekly walk over to stand before his petite friend. The younger man looked down at the woman - a schoolboy caught shooting spitballs and suddenly realizing he'd be cleaning a lifetime of erasers from now on. 

"Would you like to explain what the _hell_ you thought you'd accomplish by running away?" 

Krycek continued to look down now noticing Scully's bare feet, the delicate toenails painted crimson and he shivered. It may have been nail polish but she could as easily kick him bloody. 

" _Well?_ " 

He sighed finally looking up, swallowing at the icy blue gaze. "Okay, _you_ tell me how _you'd_ feel if everything you've ever wanted, cared about, loved, was suddenly given to you. Just dumped in your lap without any real explanation; at least one you could really accept. Tell me how you'd handle suddenly being told by someone you've cared for but _never_ expected to be cared for in return, that they want you. Need you. Tell me how _you'd_ react to wake up and find that 'someone' not just with you but in _your bed_ with you. And knowing you weren't drunk or anything like that, tell me Scully, what would _you_ do?" 

"Well, I'd certainly not go racing off with my tail between my legs yelping like a beaten or skunked dog, _that's_ for sure!" 

//Ouch!// Mulder winced. Scully was giving Alex a good dressing down. He actually felt sorry for his love but tough times warranted a tough approach. He still had no idea _where_ his partner was getting the snappy comebacks but she was on a level with his former foe and Alex knew it. 

Krycek looked up at him, sighed at the cool expression back and realized no help was forthcoming from this corner. He was going to have to fight on alone. "I didn't race off yelping, I just left." 

Scully frowned more. "Actually, you _slithered_ off and left Mulder here to wake up alone. If I hadn't bugged you, I'm sure he'd never have found you _this_ time." She leaned out to stare at Mulder. "Let me guess...you didn't dream about wherever you found him, did you?" 

Mulder said nothing but his hard look spoke volumes. 

"You did talk to him then? About what we discussed?" 

Mulder still said nothing but his gaze softened slightly and Scully turned back to Krycek fairly hissing. "Do you realize what we risked to do for you?! What _I_ risked to do?" As Krycek dipped his head she sighed heavily. "You really need to get a grip, here! You didn't see how terrified Mulder was when he raced out of that bedroom, Alex. For a moment I'm sure he feared the Consortium had found us. Found you! I think he believed he'd never get the chance to square everything with you. As a physician, I'm really pissed you'd do something like that; scare him so badly. I thought you loved him." 

"I do," Krycek nodded hard. "That's _why_ I left. To protect him. This is wrong." 

"Funny, from the screams and yells I heard earlier I'd say two wrongs definitely made a right. At least in _this_ case." 

Both men blushed badly but Mulder recovered faster. Krycek stared off whimpering. "Scully... Dana, please don't." 

"Oh no, not this time! I _told_ you not to make me regret not kicking your backside earlier. Well, you're pushing it! Now, if it's the last thing I do, I'm going to make you realize that Mulder cares about you, loves you and doesn't deserve being treated like this! You can't abuse his emotions; flip them off and on at your pleasure. He's not your _whore_ , Alex!" 

Krycek's head snapped back around. "Where the hell do you get off accusing me of...?" 

"You fucked him then just as quickly left him!" Scully roared back, snapping her fingers. "Just like that! So _you_ tell _me!_

Where was Scully _getting_ all this? If Mulder was standing there shocked, Krycek seemed electrocuted. His face paled. "I-I never meant..." 

"Damnit, don't face _me_ and say that, tell _him!_ " 

When Krycek didn't move, Scully raked fingers through her hair and snapped again. "Look, you can't treat him like that and you can't run off every time something scares you. I thought _you_ , of _all_ people, had more _guts_ than that. How many people could handle what you've been through and still have their wits about them?" 

"What the hell makes you think I _do?!_ " 

" _Alex!_ " 

The tone warned and the younger man sighed and nodded. "Okay. I get it. It's just, I'm shaky. I said it before...no one's ever cared about me. It's hard to handle. I'm just...lost a bit here. I know I should trust you by now but it's tough. I keep trying to talk myself out of thinking you're going to sell me out suddenly or shoot me in the back... 

"I've had _ample time_ to do that if I'd wanted to!" Scully hissed. 

"I-I know, Dana. And you haven't. I keep fighting, telling myself you're not going to hurt me; to trust you. I want to but I feel I..." Krycek sighed, let it hang there not knowing what to really say. 

"Then I suggest you start _learning_ to handle it and get into trusting a lot more. It's not going away, _we're_ not going away. Not this time." Scully glanced at her partner who had remained strangely silent through all this; a surprise in itself. "I think you need to accept, shocking as it is, we _are_ here for you. To help. I think we've proved it already! And lastly, get this through that stubborn head... Mulder's not leaving no matter what!" 

Krycek tipped his head in curiosity. "I thought _he_ was the psychologist here." 

"I'm a doctor, Alex. I've taken psychology as well and I'm more used to dealing with resistant, acerbic, pain in the ass patients than he is. Now, go back in that bedroom, sit down and _talk!_ Resolve all your issues or so help me..." 

She paused, glaring at them and both men took one cautious step back. There was no breeze in the room yet Scully's hair seemed to rise, flaring around her face - a crimson-capped Medusa about to freeze them both. 

"If I see _either_ of you trying to slip out again, I'm going to shoot _both_ of you in the ass! Believe me, I'll also take a very long, slow and _deliberate_ time digging for the bullets! You know I'm a medical examiner, Alex. I can always pretend neither of you are _alive_ while I dig them out!" The blue gaze pierced them with a near unnatural chill. "And I'll make sure I thoroughly _enjoy_ it!" 

Both men gulped audibly as she glanced at the kitchen door. "Now... Before I wash up some dishes, have you eaten?" 

Mulder shrugged carefully, still rattled by his partner. "I'm okay. I stopped at a 'Dunkin' Doughnuts' drive-up while I was out." 

Krycek turned to him grinning, Scully's tirade already forgotten. "Me too. What'd you get?" 

So...it _wasn't_ all about trying to back-track his trail. "Nothing big. Doughnut and coffee." 

Krycek nodded. "Me too. What kind?" 

Mulder shrugged again. "Plain glazed. You?" 

"Apple cream-filled." 

Mulder grinned. "Ummm, good. Hey, did you see the sign? The one about 'buy one box of doughnut holes, get one half price'?" 

Krycek grinned brighter. "Yeah. You know, I almost asked..." 

Scully stared from man to man in shock. It was like watching a Wimbledon tennis game in slow motion - a long rally that drove you crazy with its skill. One moment they were like two shy teens on a first date, the next near violent with their stubbornness. Now they seemed more two casual shoppers in a grocery line talking over the gossip magazines. 

//Dear Lord, if I don't have gray hair before I'm forty dealing with these two, I'll be able to handle _anything!_ // "Gentlemen!" She stepped back, tipped her nose towards the hallway and sighed, waving at the air in frustration. " _Please_ go take a bath! Both of you are nauseating!" 

Krycek huffed trying to find one last moment of self-defense. "We're not _that_ bad." 

_Oh really!_ Want me to tell you _exactly_ what I smell? I mean, _beyond_ the fragrance of 'Semen Number Nine'?!" 

That did it. Mulder looked like he was about to have a stroke, Krycek not too far off himself. Without a sound he walked down the hall, Mulder following. 

As the door closed shut behind them Scully sagged, trembling. "Dear Lord, that was almost _too_ much. Mulder, I _did_ promise and I have my _own_ reasons why as well but... Alex, _please_ listen to him. Listen and _believe_." 

* * *

As he shut the door, Krycek turned to find Mulder looking at him. "Okay, Scully said we needed to talk. So talk." 

Mulder moved closer, unbuttoned the sweater and tugged it off to the floor. "Um, F-fox, what...?" Krycek watched him begin to ease the ragged shirt off his shoulders and whined. "Don't, Fox. We...we need to _talk_. 

Mulder ignored him, worked the shirt off and let it drop on the floor over the sweater, brought his lips up to gently kiss and nip at the indentation along his lover's neck and shoulder. "We're _going_ to talk, just without words. I need you to listen to me this time, Alex. Really listen to what I have to say." 

He went back to his nibbling. Slowly he edged downward, dipping his knees until he found a round bud of nipple. His lips swept over it, tasted softly, a slight internal smile rising as the body next to him issued a deep, raw groan. Fingers slid up his face, cradled his head. He knew which hand and nuzzled into the caress again, let his lips encourage more fondling and the fingers tightened ever so slightly sending a tremor of lust up his spine. He eased back, turned his head and sucked Krycek's index finger into his mouth. He ignored the snake hiss of air, licked the digit thoroughly before letting it slip free, peeked up quickly and grinned to himself. 

If someone could get drunk off of foreplay, Alex Krycek was totally wasted already. 

"F-f-fox..." 

It was barely a wheeze of sound but Mulder chose to comment. "Excuse me, but don't interrupt..." He went back to the nipple, licked it fiercely, tongue flicking right over the hardened tip and Krycek bucked against him with a hoarse shout. He stopped; addressed his lover again. "...It's rude in a conversation." He went after the other nipple, heard a deep pant for breath and smiled as the neglected bud of flesh peaked hard like its twin. 

Krycek rocked slowly with the caressing, eyes fluttering before he found strength to open them fully. "Yo-you're not sa-saying anything," he gasped. 

Mulder eased back with a head nod. " _Yes, I am_. I need you to listen, really listen to me. Let me talk to you, Alex. Let me talk to you this way _first_. Please." 

"Um... Okay." 

Mulder leaned back in, brushed their lips into a soft kiss, then gathering up his lover's hands walked them into the bathroom. He paused gazing at the shower tub and smiled brightly. "Neat. That's a classic." 

"You...you hadn't seen it before?" 

Krycek looked surprised and Mulder sighed. "I wasn't really focused on your _tub_ this morning, Alex. When I woke up and realized you were gone, I took off right after you. I..." He fought back the blush. "I pulled off the road to take a piss. If Scully hadn't tagged you, my bladder would have probably burst. I wouldn't have stopped for anything if she hadn't." 

"Wait. You took time to brush your teeth but not to _piss?!_ " Krycek looked incredulous. "You had time to dress, find _my_ sneakers and put them on, my army jacket, _brush your teeth_ but _not_ piss?" 

So, he'd notice. Mulder shrugged. "You had time to put on that sweater. Why didn't you put on another shirt?" 

Okay, fine. A little mental sparing was good right now and this time Krycek shrugged. "You rolled over when I opened the closet door. Scared me. I thought you were waking up so I grabbed the first thing my hand touched and slipped out." His eyes narrowed. "Your turn." 

"Not yet. You said you cleaned up the knife. You had time to do _that_ but not put on a decent jacket." 

"Fox, we're talking alcohol, Kleenex and a quick couple of swipes as I went out the door. I've got it with me now and it's clean enough to use _again_! On your butt if you keep this up! Now... _your turn!_ " 

That monotone he loved deadpanned even more. "I could dress _and_ brush my teeth, Alex. _Pissing_ while dressing's a bit more challenging." 

Krycek rolled his eyes chuckling. Leave it to Fox to play 'literal'. "Sometimes, I just don't know about you. You're really crazy, you know that?" 

Mulder nodded but smiled broadly. "Love'll do that to you. Be warned. And thanks. For _leaving_ the toothbrush." 

Krycek wisely kept quiet and stared back at the shower, finally noticing the folded towel and washcloth draped over a side rack. "Guess Dana made herself to home." 

"Alex..." 

"Nah, it's okay." Krycek's lips twitched. "Just explains why she said _we_ stink." 

"I'm afraid we do." Mulder looked back to the tub. "Think there's room for both of us?" 

Krycek smiled as he walked over and turned the water on. "Yeah. It's over-sized and the framework's welded and bolted to the floor. I got a bath mat in here." He pulled the curtain tight. "I'll set the shower to a good cleansing spray when we get in." 

They stripped down quickly, neither looking at the other's naked body for fear of falling apart; managed not to climb all over each other and stepped into the tub. Mulder grunted as his backside caught the water first. "Damn! That's a bit warm!" 

Krycek mumbled an apology and adjusted the temperature. "There." He reached for a small plastic basket and pulled out a 'scrunci' sponge and bottle of bath gel. "I've got 'ocean spray' gel here. Not too flowery, just right." He opened the cap and squeezed out a good amount on the sponge. "Here you go. You wash up first." 

Mulder reached out for the sponge, wrapped his hand around Krycek's wrist and quickly jerked the man into his arms. He grinned as his younger lover let out a started yelp turning to a fierce blubbering as water splashed into his face. "Ack! Shit, Fox!" 

Mulder latched onto his mouth with a low chuckle and kissed him wildly before pulling away with a satisfied smack. "Turn around." When Krycek remained facing him, a question rising on his face, he leaned in and nuzzled a pert nose. "Turn around, Alex. I need to get to your back." 

Turning slowly, wondering why Mulder wanted his back, Krycek waited nervously. When the sponge brushed over his neck he jumped. 

"Easy, baby. Don't wiggle around or you might slip." 

As the water splashed over them, Krycek sagged into the caressing. Oh god, this felt _so good!_ He sighed as Mulder worked the sponge over his shoulder, down his back, dug into that place between his shoulder blades that always itched and he nearly collapsed in pleasure. How the hell did Fox know that...? Oh, god! The dreams! 

He swayed as the sponge moved lower, slid over a hip, returned to brush against the small of his back and his body responded. Just when he'd started to calm down, get a measure on his emotions, he filled again, hardened, realized this was good, very good and something he _needed_ for the rest of his life. 

No one had _ever_ done this to him. For him. He realized why. Fucking someone was one thing, sharing a bubble bath another. He'd never let anyone get this close before, this intimate no mater how much he'd wanted it and he'd wanted it a lot. Still did. More, now that the _right_ person was close. 

His thoughts drifted, slipped back to the moment Mulder had begun to make love to him. Remembered the touches, soft and delicate; lips warm and gentle. Felt the first brush of passion-wet skin on skin then... He twitched and Mulder grunted behind him. 

"Alex? You okay?" 

"Um...yeah. Yes! I... Don't stop, Fox. Please." 

As Mulder continued, Krycek tried to get a grip on the wave of panic rising in his gut. What had happened? It was like a light switch being cut off then back on again. In that microsecond of darkness something happened and for the life of him he couldn't remember. Just like before. 

Too many times before. 

Mulder's place. He remembered them kissing, ending up on Mulder's bed, then he was getting screamed at and tossed out. In retrospect he deserved it, should never have accused Mulder of drugging him but something else had happened. What? 

"Alex? Are you with me here? Are you _listening?_ " 

Krycek shivered, frustrated at missing something vital and not knowing what, he managed to nod. "Uh-huh. I'm...I'm fine. L-listening to you." 

"Good...because I have a lot to say." 

The sponge slipped downward, brushed between the curved globes of his ass and he jumped. Oh gosh, Mulder was talking to him all right - a language that needed no further clarification. Realized it shouldn't be one-sided. He turned, wrapped his hand over Mulder's, both men noting the left fingers curling carefully. 

This time Mulder's expression was quiet. Together, they watched the hand move his, the sponge distributing a thick glop of soap over Krycek's smooth chest. Finally they both looked up and the younger man murmured, "You have to _speak_ to me all over, you know. You've _never_ been one for small talk." 

Mulder actually smiled, nodded and slowly began a nice, long 'discussion' with his lover. 

Krycek leaned his head back, arched into the scrubbing; sighs and moans permeating the air. Mulder noticed how hard he was, wanted to stop but he was determined to speak the only way they could both accept at the moment. He worked carefully, didn't miss a place and finally when he had Alex completely soaped and a shade off totally fucked up, he stepped back. 

"You can rinse off now." 

Krycek's head lowered, eyes opened on him and Mulder drew in a shaky breath. They were almost completely black, the green lost against fully dilated irises. Krycek looked like a cat focused on a mouse and he shivered under the feral gaze. "I-I'm done, Alex, you can rinse off now." He lifted up the sponge and Krycek plucked it from his hands. 

" _Your turn._ " 

Mulder shook his head slowly still lost in the intense scrutinizing. "Um, nah. I'm okay. I can finish..." 

"Fox, you told me to listen, really listen to what you wanted to say. _I have_. Now, you listen to _me._

Krycek washed Mulder slowly, as carefully as he'd been done to and the older man rocked with emotion. Everywhere the sponge touched him it set fire to his skin; burned his heart and soul. His legs weakened under the onslaught and he swayed with need. That Alex gave every body area, _every_ body area, careful complete kisses before he washed it, practically kissing suds off Mulder along the way didn't help at all. 

"A-Alex?" 

"Ummmm?" 

"If we don't rinse off now, I'm going to fall down. Please baby, let's get out of here." 

Strong arms slipped around Mulder's waist, pulled him upright and lips nibbled his earlobe. "I'll hold you up, beautiful. Now and every day of your life. Just lean on me, Fox. I'm not going anywhere." 

He wouldn't. Mulder sagged into the embrace and sobbed softly. "Rinse me off, Alex. Then take me to bed. Please." 

"Okay." 

Warm water rained down on them as Krycek slowly sponged his lover clean, rinsed himself off and helped Mulder step from the tub. A few brisk rubs with a towel and they were done. Before Mulder realized what was happening, he was suddenly lifted into strong arms. Gasping in surprise, he watched the bedroom move into view, sighed as he was gently eased down into what seemed to be crisp, clean sheets and noticed his lover was blushing as well. 

"Guess Scully had nothing else to do, huh?" 

Mulder felt the heat on his face as Krycek settled down next to him. "Please, Alex. I don't want to think about what _she_ was thinking." 

"She's already heard us, Fox. What does it matter now?" 

He had a point. Scully'd heard enough to know what they were doing and how they felt. They were here _because_ of her. "I know; it's just... Oh, never mind. You're right. She's very special." 

"Yeah," Krycek nodded. "I _do_ owe her. For a lot of good things. I hope I can pay her back sometime." 

Mulder twisted in the covers and reached out to brush fingers over his lover's face. "Just help us, Alex. Help us stop the future and you'll have paid her back for a lifetime." 

"I will, Fox. I swear I will." Krycek looked at him carefully. "Can I...? Fox, can I make love to you? Please?" 

"Oh god, Alex," Mulder moaned low. "You don't have to _ask_. Ever. I'm _yours_. Take me." 

Suddenly a face hovered over his, green eyes glowing with lust; feral and hot. Lips peeled back from a snarl of raw desire. "Oh, I _plan_ to, Fox. I fucking _plan_ to! 

By the time Krycek rolled off him and settled on the bed by his side, Mulder was an absolute mess. Payback was _indeed_ a bitch; especially when one Alex Krycek did the paying. When it came to getting someone ready - hot and bothered - Alex could write a book. Make an Oscar winning movie. There were things the man did that couldn't be repeated much less shared. 

Mulder squirmed in the covers and rolled onto his side pulling Alex back to his chest. He licked the bowed lips next to his, kissed them desperately trying to get them to part again but this time they stayed defiant. Alex was waiting for something. 

"Alex...baby, please. Fuck me. Fuck me, now!" 

Green titled slightly as Krycek angled his head. "I thought _you_ wanted to make love. You know, didn't like that 'fuck and suck' talk. Isn't that right?" 

Exasperated, Mulder tried to find a meeting point, nuzzled damp hair against his lover's face and mewed. "Fuck, make love, get laid, get funky, get jiggy; different terms, same outcome! Just _do me_ , Alex!" 

Krycek coughed then buried his face in his lover's neck and laughed his head off. Mulder, frustrated and flustered, lay there wrapped up in his lover's arms quietly as the body beside his shook, howling with joy. Finally, Krycek stopped and easing up kissed softly fighting a last chuckle of mirth. "You are _so_ precious." 

"Alex..." it came out in a low growl of disgust, "If this is some kind of fucked up, sick joke..." 

"No joke, baby, you _are_ precious. To me. But I know what you want. Let's make love then." 

A soft knock on the door startled them both. "Alex? Mulder?" 

Krycek glanced at it, pulled the covers up quickly. "Yeah, Dana?" 

"I need to leave you for a while. Check in on my place and such. I know you haven't eaten or eaten much so I fixed up some sandwiches. Nothing big, just peanut butter and jelly. I wrapped them up on the kitchen counter. I'll stop by your apartment and feed the fish, Mulder. They're probably calling for delivery by now." 

Krycek grinned at his lover who merely rolled his eyes but managed to smile as well. "That'd be great, Scully and... Thank you. For everything." 

"You're welcome. Both of you. But remember what I said...mess this up if you _dare_. Now, I've got someone across the street watching out for you. He's in the gas truck, supposedly checking the lines. He'll be here through the night. At dawn, another agent will be trimming up weeds in that vacant lot across the street. He'll be over here to do the shrubs and edge trim after that so you may hear noise. Neither will bother you unless you call out the door but they _will_ be watching every car in the area. Oh yes, they know what's going on here, Mulder." 

Krycek glanced up as Mulder gulped. "They...they _do?_ " 

"Yes. So does Finch. He assigned these men for a reason. I informed them we're watching over a person under your protection. That got some smirks and I pressed for an explanation. Seems they've seen you at a few clubs. When I asked what _club_ they were at and how they knew it was _you_ , both turned a very dangerous shade of red. Needless to say, they're sympathetic to our witness' needs. Suffice, I _reminded_ them that 'protection' is a two-way street. I'll leave that for _you_ to interpret but they promise they know nothing and won't interfere no matter _what_ kind of screaming they hear. Funny thing about Finch...he just doesn't look it. Oh well. I'll be back in the morning to dismiss them. Good night." 

There was a pregnant silence behind the door then two voices let out a squeaky "Good night." Scully grinned at the wood furiously. As she turned Krycek suddenly called out leaping from the bed. 

"Sc-Dana! Wait!" 

He dashed into the bathroom and quickly returned heading for the door. Mulder noticed he was carrying his watch. He eased behind the wood and opened it slowly sticking his arm out. "Take this with you. I never turned it off from when I went to Fox's earlier. There's...there's a camera. In...in the hallway. If they're watching and we know they are, they need to see something or they're going to wonder. Press the two buttons on the side simultaneously, wait a few seconds then you can approach. Press them again when you leave. It'll reset the jammer." 

As Scully took it she thought of something. "Alex, Mulder hasn't left the apartment that they've seen in a day or two. What if they come looking? Already been there?" 

Krycek turned to Mulder who looked back chewing on his lip. "Um...well, do this then. Press the button on the top then the side. It'll sweep for bugs. Keep it hidden but aim it at the door. If it starts beeping, get out. We'll think of something else. If not, go in. As you leave, call out that you'll bring some medicine back. In case they've set up a mike or another bug outside. Say cough syrup or something. Make sure to let Fox know to rest and all that shit. We'll slip in later. I've got another jammer I can leave with him. Go back in the morning, say around ten or so and he can answer the door. Fox, if you wrap yourself up in a robe or something it'll look like you've been resting. Sick. That should cover us." 

"I hope so," Mulder murmured then called out. "Scully, if that thing starts beeping, leave! Don't go home, come right back here and only if you see those men out there and you recognize them. Anything else, leave! Find Skinner and tell him everything. Assume the worse for us and you two get out fast!" 

Scully started at the watch for a moment then nodded. "Alright but you be careful, too. _Both_ of you." 

"Dana?" 

"Yes? Alex?" 

Krycek leaned his body around the door again and Scully got the briefest flash of something else. She managed to look at his eyes anyway and smiled at the honest look of deep appreciation in the soft green gaze. "The file... I... _Thanks_. Thanks again for helping me. You took a _big_ risk. I won't forget it." 

"It was a mutual 'need to know', Alex." 

He nodded, "Yeah. I understand. I was right about something, though." 

"Ummm? What was it?" 

Krycek glanced over to Mulder grinning. "You _have_ got balls, Dana. And I _don't_ need to see them to know it." 

Both men could only grin as a dainty throat cleared itself noisily. "Ah. Well. Um, yes. Th-Thank you, Alex. I think." 

"No, Dana. Thank _you_." 

"Try to take care of yourself a bit more, will you?" Scully chuckled. "I can't protect you _and_ Mulder _all_ the time." 

The humor caught him this time and Krycek grinned back. "I'll try. Thanks." 

They waited until they heard the front door slam, Scully making sure they knew she was gone then Krycek sighed shutting the bedroom door. "Fox, I've got more weapons here. Plenty. I'll be fine. Maybe you should..." 

"Stay right where I am, Alex. She'll be okay. They tried using her against me before and it didn't stop me. They won't try again; know it'll only get me on their case again. Like you said, they like to play but know I'll counter a move if they push me. She's more worried about me. About us." 

"I just _told_ you I have more..." 

"I heard," Mulder nodded. "We'll need to get it all out of here before the 'help' comes to pack up, too. You're supposed to be a _witness_ , not a 'Rambo' wannabe." 

Krycek's expression went fierce. " _Wannabe?!_

" _Alex..._ " 

Krycek waved off anything else, climbing back into the bed. "Okay, okay. I get it. Meek and mild mannered. Even Superman knows when to lie low, huh?" 

"Precisely. Now we'll need to find a box to pack them up in..." 

Krycek shook his head. "It'll take more than a box. I'm _armed_ , Fox. I've got two old steamer trunks. I fitted them out to hold everything I've got with me here." 

Mulder actually gaped. "St-steamer trunks? Two _steamer trunks?!_ We didn't find any..." 

Krycek looked away. "I didn't plan for you to or anyone else. Don't go there, Fox. I've been in the 'war' a lot longer than _you_ have. You think I'd just leave shit around?" 

Mulder was rattled. What else was hiding here they _hadn't_ found? A _tank?_ "Um...okay. We'll need to pack that up first thing in the morning. Don't worry about Scully. She'll be _okay_." 

Krycek nodded with a sigh. "I know. She can take care of herself. I've seen it. She's a lot tougher than she used to be. As to anyone following her here they'll think twice if they think I've been caught. Like always, they want plausible denial but that's not what I'm worried about. What about the guys outside? The agents? If they decide to say..." 

"I _know_ Scully. They'll keep their mouths shut. She won't report it but she could make their days rougher; Finch's a living hell. They know it. She has the ear of the medical division too and that means annual checkups. She could shake things up very easily if she was nasty enough. They _are_ doing colon exams now, you know? _Complete_ physicals. She'd only have to drop a hint that she thinks they're gay and..." 

Krycek stared at the door, visibly shaken. "Yeah, I know. I know. Old 'Uncle Sam' _still_ doesn't want to know everything. Damn... To think I was scared of her before. Now, I'm _terrified_." 

"You're not alone," Mulder confessed. "But we _owe_ her, Alex. Both of us. If she hadn't followed you..." 

Krycek smiled carefully. "I know. I was wrong about her. Despite the fact she should hate me she doesn't. Not anymore. I don't know why but... That woman's a marvel." 

Mulder nodded, reaching up to brush a lock from his lover's face. "More than you'll ever know." 

"Well, she's hung around with _you_ all this time, that tells me _a lot_." 

Mulder looked up openly offended. "Hey, what the hell is that supposed...? Oh, god!" 

His mouth sagged as Alex found his nipple again, resumed a previous inspection and he rocked against the sensation. His cock swelled again, jumped in anticipation and his breath went ragged. "Ohhhhh...um, yes. God Alex, don't, don't stop!" 

Krycek had no intention of doing anything of the kind. He licked the bud of flesh slowly, hands easing up to knead Mulder's chest like a kitten nursing. Mulder groaned at the sensations, the feel of hands not his own moving over him, stroking, touching. His body absorbed the sensual overload and responded. He went rock hard, precum oozing out and Krycek noticing, pulled back chuckling softly. 

"You going to wait for me or should I just jerk you off?" 

Mulder gasped, forced his eyes to open and stared up into a forest of green eyes and heat. "N-n-no. Don't. Don't stop. Please. Alex, I won't..." 

Krycek hushed him with a finger over his lips. "I was just joking, Fox. I think you're beautiful like this. I get turned on knowing _I_ make you feel like this." 

Assured this was all going to end on the right note, Mulder nodded, settled back with a sigh. "Only you, Alex. I belong to you. Please, please fuck me." 

"In time, baby, in time. Need to spend a little more getting to know you." 

Mulder pushed up on his elbows in shock. "Know me? _Know me?!_ Know _what?!_ " 

"Lay back down, Fox." 

"Alex, what are you trying to pull?" 

Green suddenly darkened as Krycek snarled. "You keep ignoring what I'm telling you and I won't 'pull' anything no matter _how_ much you need it. Or push it for that matter!" 

Mulder's foggy brain managed to decipher all that and he mewed with need. "Alex, don't tease. I _want_ you. You want me. Right? Please baby, just fuck me. Now!" 

Krycek's eyes softened. "I will, just... Please, Fox. Let me have..." He blushed and Mulder understood. 

"I said I was yours. Do...do what you need to." 

Krycek managed a softer smile and went back to his attentions. 

* * *

Scully walked over to the tank and sighed as the fish rushed to the glass facing her. She was glad she'd been able to enter. 

Arriving at the door and following Krycek's instructions carefully, she'd nearly collapsed as the device merely glowed but failed to beep. She checked several times and obviously Mulder had cleaned out the latest bugs before he'd let Krycek in. 

//Consortium must be taking some time off. They've forgotten to check in on the 'kids'.// 

Smirking, she shook out a good measure of food, lowered the can and smiled at the tank in apology as the fish nearly leaped out the water to feed. "I'm really sorry about this. Mulder should just own a 'pet rock'." She brushed fingers over the glass and turned to take in the room. Sighed realizing how much it and many other things would change. Soon Mulder would return and Alex with him. 

//Oh Mulder, I hope this isn't a big mistake. And if it is, I hope it's one you'll still be able to walk away from. Both of you.// 

Mulder and Krycek. It was still a shock but one she'd known was coming for a long time. Now she could only wait to see how it panned out. //They love each other, no doubt there. Hate each other too. They're going to be fire and ice, nitro and a primer. And me...the only fire extinguisher between them. God help us!// 

She walked across the living room, straightening a few magazines, swiping a bit of dust off the coffee table and remembered. Moving to the closet, she opened the door, reached for Krycek's jacket and paused. 

//No. Leave it. Gives them both a reason to come back here. Maybe a promise to keep as well.// Smiling, she pushed the door shut. Taking a final glance around and checking the jammer in her pocket she opened the front door. Called out. 

"Mulder, I'm not going to say this but once. You stay in bed and _rest!_ You still have a temperature. I promised I'd call Skinner and I will so stop whining. I'll be back with some more juice and soup in a few hours. Now, go to sleep or I swear I'll sedate you!" 

As she closed the door and started to walk away, she paused, stared up at the wall and the hidden camera. Walking back, letting full lips turn up in a nasty, smug grin, she slowly lifted her left hand; folded the fingers down save the middle one and held it right up at the camera. Forgetting years of devotion and faith she mouthed a slow, 'Fuck you, we know! Always known!' then lowered her hand. 

Glaring for a moment more, she turned, walked down the hall and into the elevator. 

* * *

For several minutes they kissed, touched gently, breathing together as one. 

Krycek's fingers traced Mulder's lips, stroked over his nose, brushed love against thick brows, combed through soft hair. 

Mulder's eyes had closed, his body taking in the sensations without a visual reference. He was drowning and knew it. Drowning in a wave of emotion he realized he could no longer do without. No matter what Alex did to him after this it wouldn't matter. These moments, _this night_ , were already etched in his memory. 

Yes, 'Lady Luck' had _finally_ felt sorry for him and given him his deepest fantasy. Now he hoped she'd look the other way. 

He barely felt something slid over his hip, lift gently then he gasped, groaned as Krycek's mouth eased over his throbbing cock. He grunted, trying to thrust into the moist warmth, but steely hands held him back; braced him a tingle above bliss and he whimpered in frustration. 

Krycek could have cared less if he sang an aria. _He_ was in control this time and they both knew it. He began a slow, taunting rhythm; lips gliding up clearing Mulder's throbbing shaft, pausing for a tongue tip to flick gently before sliding back down. He took an infuriating time doing it - a slow pace that resembled working on a lollipop or an ice cream cone, savoring every movement. He turned his head from side to side; tongue now licking a swirling pattern that was killing Mulder in all the best ways. The cries that rose up confirmed it. 

His cock screamed at him, the ache so sharp his head was starting to hurt from it but he fought it back. Resisted the urge to fling the muscled legs trembling by his ears up over his shoulders and take Mulder screaming into the abyss with him. No, he could wait. _This_ was for his 'baby'. 

Mulder shook the bed, head rolling back and forth on the pillow as his breath whistled between clenched teeth. His body jumped, jerked. Hands dug into the mattress, clawed the covers; avoided the sable head bobbing between his legs if only to keep from ripping silken hair from it. 

He trembled with need; intense feelings he'd denied for most of his life flared along his nerves touching off wild thoughts - Alex chained in a dungeon, he, the wild Count Dracula poised to drain his victim in the most passionate way. Alex, the seductive Don Juan; he, a lost virgin at his mercy. An image of him draped in Alex's arms, shirt being torn off and lost in the throes of outrageous passion burst behind his closed lids and he cried out in shock. 

"Alex, stop! _Stop!_ Fuck me! Alex, now! _Please!_ " 

The tone told the younger man enough was enough and he eased back, sat up. He fought to keep his own need off his face and panted, "Where's the lube, Fox?" 

When Mulder looked up, too aroused to even think much less form a word; blinked confused, he groaned. "It must be on the floor. Hold on." He vanished, body twisting to look down under the bed. "Oh, great! Just fucking _great!_ It's all the way in the middle... Hey!" 

He grunted as Mulder tugged him back and wrapped him up in tight arms and legs. He stared down into hazel eyes darkened with lust and sparking gold. " _Spit_ on it then! Spit on _me_! Whatever, but you're _not_ moving off this bed _until_ you've fucked me!" 

"Baby, it's been... Fox, I mean I know _how long_ it's been, I can't just..." 

Legs tightened on him chocking off anything else as Mulder growled in a tone dangerously meaningful. "Alex, I said 'fuck me'! _Now!_ " 

"At least give me a few minutes to get you..." 

" _Now, Alex!_ " 

Suddenly Krycek's eyes went nearly black. Bowed lips turned up in a snarl that was a shade off 'malevolent' and Mulder paused. 

"You can cut that 'superior agent' bullshit, Fox. I'm not playing it anymore!" Krycek leaned in forcing his partner back down into the covers. "In fact, I may not play at all you keep ordering me around. What _is_ this, huh?" 

Mulder got the message, a warning that they were either equals or not. He mewed softly, nuzzled closer. "I can't wait. Need... I..." The green gaze remained unchanged and he nodded. "Okay. Just hurry. Please!" 

"Shit! Okay!" Krycek nodded and the arms loosened long enough for him to raise his hand, spit several times and ease it between their bodies. Mulder's eyes fluttered slightly as he felt the hand move low, brush against him and the throbbing flesh he'd waited a lifetime to feel. He shifted, lifted his legs more and moaned as something hot and wet brushed his ass. 

"Fox... If it hurts too much..." 

"I'll _live_ , Alex!" Mulder snarled. "But I swear I'll _kill you_ if you keep stalling. I've waited too long for this. _No more!_ Fuck me! Now!" 

Praying to himself, Alex pushed, moaned as Mulder opened slowly and he eased in. Fought against the urge to pull back when Mulder growled painfully, the older man's teeth gnashing as he fought not to cry out. Hissed as nails dug into his shoulders, scraped his back; cursed himself for pushing his lover's sex-deprived body beyond its ability to wait. If he hurt Mulder with this he'd never forgive himself. 

"Fox... I can't... I don't..." 

"Fuck me, goddamnit!" 

//Jesus!// 

Krycek kept pushing and moaned again as his lover's body suddenly gave way to him. He gasped with the sensation, slick muscles seeming to pull him in, wrap around him. Accept him. The power of it all buried itself deep in his soul. Groaning, he settled against Mulder's warm chest, buried his face against a warmer neck and didn't move. 

They lay there, one over the other quietly; both taking in the shock of the moment. This was the most intimate second of their lives. Mulder felt the shaking before he felt the tears. He eased his arm up, let fingers slip through soft hair. "Alex? You okay?" The head rolled against him and he settled his next to it. 

"Y-yeah. Just feels so good. You...we feel so good! Not dreaming?" 

Hands stroked his back, carded his hair and a soft monotone confirmed. "No. No dream. Not anymore. This is real, Alex. For as long as we want." 

"G-good. Don't want to dream _this_. Never dream _this_ again. Wa-wanted th-this for so long. So real." 

"It's real, Alex. _I'm real._ " 

The dark head next to his bobbed slightly. "Feels too good like this. I... I wa-wanted..." More tears fell silently. 

Mulder understood; felt the same. Moisture slipped down his neck, tickled his skin but he didn't care. Welcomed it. He flexed his ass, smiled as the body over him jerked, a sob of soft emotion blowing warmth against his neck. He turned his head and pressed a loving kiss on an elfin-tipped ear. "We'll feel _better_ if you move. Make love to me, Alex. Please. Make me come. Now." 

"You...you _sure_ you're okay?" 

Mulder heard the tone, demanding the truth and sighed. "I'm sore, Alex. Okay?! I'll probably ache like shit in the morning but it'll be worth every twinge. More if you just _get on with it!_ " 

" _Pushy bitch_ ," came the muffled yet testy reply and Mulder laughed as arms pulled them closer. 

Alex's emotions could flip-flop just as easily as his. One moment he was teary with joy and pleasure, the next fiercely determined to take the lead in their lovemaking. Mulder knew Alex needed this - to believe that his promise of love, trust, was his word. Alex would believe many things in time. This one moment would confirm it. He knew his fierce demand was the most powerful truth he could offer. Knew Alex would never have believed less. 

Their lovemaking was slower this time, less frenetic. They moved together as one, hips forming a rhythmic pattern that would be theirs forever. Neither heard the bed rock with their passion; only heard their mutual gasps and sighs, their occasional cry of shocked joy as they found each other's pleasure points. 

Krycek meshed his fingers through Mulder's, held them together carefully. Suddenly a leg slipped from his hip and he grabbed it, lifted it back. Groaned as ankles hooked over him tightly, grunted as heels dug into his ass but he wanted them there. No part of Mulder was allowed to be away from him right now. He began to increase his thrusts, taking them as deep as his lover's body would allow. 

Mulder's breathing deepened as they moved, grew hoarse as he got closer. Krycek wasn't far behind, gasps sounding like cloth tearing. Suddenly Mulder's body tightened voluntarily, squeezing Krycek so hard the man squealed in shock, bucked against him and Mulder howled with pleasure as his lover rammed into his prostate. 

"Yes! Shit, yes! Alex, make me come! Now!" 

Krycek couldn't deny that request even if he'd been deaf. He reached down between them, slipped his slick fingers around his lover's leaking cock and pumped. Mulder's body lifted off the bed, raising them both up as a series of raw sobs began to pour from his mouth. 

"Oh god, yes! Ohhhh! Alex! Please!" 

Krycek's body responded before his mind could. Groaning through clenched teeth, he drove in Mulder wildly. There was no more time. He cried out as his orgasm began to tear through him, forced Mulder's with a hoarse growl. "Come on, Fox. Now! Come with me... Now!" 

Mulder's body locked as him came. " _FuckinggodAlex! Ahhhhhh!_ " 

Krycek held onto his lover as Mulder's screams snapped off suddenly, his now silent body jerking violently with the force of his release. A thick stream splattered his stomach and chest as he came. Finally he sagged in the younger man's arms and Krycek eased him back into the covers, fell on top and chuckled at the mess on both their chests and stomachs as he slipped free from Mulder's body. "Damn Fox, you don't _play_ when you come, do you?" he panted. He glanced up pleased and froze at the blood on Mulder's mouth. 

Fox had bit his lip. 

"Shit! Fox!" 

"S'kay, not hurt." Mulder murmured weakly. He tried to move, failed and lay there drawing in deep breaths and licked his lip clean as Krycek rolled to his side. "Forgot. Been so long since... I-I forgot how g-good it was. That way. Tried not to scream. Really tried." 

"You screamed anyway. Should have just gone on with it instead of hurting yourself, you asshole!" 

It came out fierce but Mulder knew it wasn't an angry reprimand as much a worried one. "Sorry, Alex." 

"You okay?" 

Mulder nodded and wiggled in the covers. He was going to hurt in the morning but it was worth every ache. "Yeah, I'm okay. I just... Ah, I could use a little 'adjustment time', though." 

Of course, he would. There was going to be plenty more where that came from. The last time Mulder had been fucked was the weekend of his graduation from the Academy - a wild night with the boys that two had enjoyed more than the others. Krycek knew all about it; knew the future agent didn't even know where the other man had gone. That Mulder's brief tryst had been the first Consortium/alien causality; the first tragic and failed 'experiment', was a secret he _could_ keep. Mulder didn't need to know. 

His fingers traced soft lips, tapped on his love's full nose. "As much time as you need, baby. Take it." 

For a few moments they lay silently, wildly pounding hearts finally calming then Mulder let out a deep, satisfied sigh. "God, Alex. You are _so_ damn good!" Krycek made a snorting sound causing him to roll onto his side. "What was that for?" 

"What?" 

Mulder stared at his lover. "That snort and _don't_ try to tell me that wasn't what I heard." Krycek snorted again and he sat up. " _What?!_

"You don't need to say all that, Fox. Get all sappy. I'm a sure thing now, okay?" 

Mulder flopped back down moaning. "That wasn't what I meant, Alex. I'm talking about _you_. _You_ were _wonderful!_ " 

Krycek chuckled this time. "It's been a while for you, of course it felt good." 

Mulder suddenly flipped over, pinning Krycek to the bed with a hiss. "I'm not talking about time, Alex! Or quantity! I'm *talking * about _quality!_. I'm talking about _you_! Only _you_ could make me feel that good. I don't need anyone else to do that _but_ you!" 

Krycek blushed, tried to tuck his head and Mulder grabbed his hair gently but firmly forcing his head up. He gazed down into emerald eyes moist with feeling and purred at them. "You told _me_ not to hide from a compliment. Don't you think you should follow your own advice sometimes? 

The blush deepened on his young lover's face prompting him to ease down and brush soft lips. "I meant everything I said to you, Alex. You're the only one I want; will _ever_ need. It's not just _what_ you do, baby, it's that it's _you_ doing it!" 

"You," Krycek licked his lips. "You can't _say_ that. You don't _know_ for sure. That was only the first time I've ever..." 

"Made love to me? Yes. But not the first _or_ the second time we've made love. I'm not just counting this morning's adventures either, Alex." 

Green gazed back at him unblinking, loss focus for a moment as their lips met in a slow, deep kiss that seemed to go on forever. Finally Mulder's lips parted from his in a slower movement. Hazel stared at him with so much feeling it set his heart hammering against his ribs and Mulder smiled down at him warmly. "I've made love to you in my dreams, Alex. For _years_. Even...even when we didn't care for each other. I knew what I wanted then, I was just too afraid to take it. I know what I want _now_ and I'm going to get it! You! I love you!" 

Mulder had been dreaming about him before?! Before _these_ dreams?! Krycek's mouth opened but a mere wheezing slipped out prompting his lover to chuckle. "You can get back to me on that later. Go to sleep." 

As Mulder settled down into the covers with a slow yawn, Krycek rolled onto his side and pulled him into his arms. "I'm sorry I ran, Fox. I was scared. Very scared. I thought I was still dreaming then when I woke, saw you, I flipped out a bit. I snuck out, saw Scully on the sofa and _really_ freaked. That's why I ran. I just...freaked out." 

"You thought you were still dreaming?" 

No, but I don't know _what_ I really thought. I just knew I needed to get away for a moment. Think all this through." 

"Still want to run?" 

A hand slipped over his. Krycek stared at the fingers, shook his head firmly. "No, not any more. I want to go to sleep every night after a moment like this. I want to see you come that hard and good every night; maybe every morning. I want to wake up to get a chance to see it again. I want to feel you hug me, nuzzle in my arms. It's sunk in, I get it, Fox. You love me. And I realize I need _you_ too." 

Mulder's hand slid up to brush along his beloved's face. "Thank you. For finally admitting it. You know...really on your own." 

Krycek smiled as he looked down and Mulder swam in the gaze. "You know that song you were singing to in the car?" 

"Ummm?" 

Krycek's grin went broad. "I was watching you in the rearview. I can read lips, Fox. Did you know that?" 

Mulder obviously didn't as his paling face testified. Krycek's arms pulled him closer. "And let me tell you _this_... I couldn't agree with that song more if I wrote it!" His kissed full lips slowly then eased back. "I know what station you were listening to. It's my favorite. I've also got the CD. You can borrow it." 

Mulder grinned through another yawn. "Thanks." 

"Turn over." 

Mulder did, sighed as he snuggled back; smiled as Krycek's warm body pressed into his and let himself start to drift. Then a thought pushed up through the fuzziness. "We should shower again. We're going to wake up stuck together if we don't." 

The body behind him moved even closer; pressed them tight and grunted. "Then I can be sure _you_ won't be gone when _I_ wake up." 

Mulder twisted his head. "Alex, I have _no_ intention of..." 

Krycek managed a sleepy chuckle. "Joke, baby. Just a joke." 

"Not funny, Alex. _Not funny_." 

"Okay, Fox. I'm sorry. Go to sleep. We'll shower later." 

"Alex, are _you_ going to be here when I wake up?" 

Well, he _did_ deserve it. "If you don't kick me outta the bed in your sleep or snore..." 

"I _don't_ snore!" 

"...or you're not into being a pillow and cover hog. You know, steal the sheets off me; leave my poor, naked ass shivering in the brutal cold of..." 

"Alex, like Scully, I haven't had much rest in a few days either. I'm sleepy. Keep talking and I'll _give_ your poor, naked ass something to _really_ shiver over... 

"...then yeah, I'll be here. And every night afterwards, Fox." 

Mulder sighed to himself 'Thank you'; spoke aloud his acceptance. "Gonna hold you to it. I plan for _a lot_ of nights after this. More mornings. Don't think _you've_ got exclusive rights on top either. You get yours when we wake up." 

"Can I get something to eat first? One of Scully's sandwiches would be good." 

Mulder smirked then stretched casually. "Sure. You eat your sandwich and I'll eat mine. Preferably with a little 'Alex filling' in the middle." 

Warm lips found his ear and nibbled gently. "Damn, you've got stamina." 

Mulder smirked more. "I hope I can keep it. You're quite a challenge, baby." 

"Want a sandwich too? I got beer?" 

"Nah," Mulder fought another yawn and failed. "I'm really sleepy. You go ahead." 

"In that case..." a softer yawn brushed his neck, "I'll eat later. I'll order some vitamins tomorrow to go with that Viagra, too." 

There was a bit more confidence in the sleepy tone and Mulder, despite exhausted, managed to smile at it. " _Plan on it_. Goodnight, love." 

"Good night, precious." 

Mulder sighed as an arm wrapped around him then a leg; remembered this before and knew it wouldn't leave this time. Not easily. "I love you, Alex." 

The arm tightened, fingers slid up to cover his heart. Fingertips felt the steady beat and a voice lulled sleepily. "I love _you_ , Fox." 

As Mulder drifted off the words echoed softly in his mind... 

Alongside the lyrics of a sweet song. 

End? 

* * *

Well, they're together but then love's never been easy. I promise...just a little bit more. It'll be worth it. A belated, special thanks to Dimitry for the Russian in 'Present Conditions' and the bar of soap to wash out my mind for _all_ of this! Spasiba! 

You like? Want more? Then feed my need! 

Copyright 2006 by Lashala (just in case) 

  
 

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Series Name:   **What's In A Dream?**  
Title:   **Twists & Turns**   
Author:  Lashala   [email/website]   
Details:   **Series**  |  **NC-17**  |  **139k**  |  **02/05/06**   
Pairings:  Mulder/Krycek   
Category:  Drama, Romance, AU (Alternate Universe)   
Sequel to:  Present Conditions   
Summary:  Doubts arise, fears return and Mulder goes on a quest.   
  
  
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